Submission... just the thought of this word can create an emotion that wells up in women. Causing them to cringe as a wave of nausea washes over them like the waves of an ocean. It doesn't do that to me. I don't mind the word "submit". In fact, in my wedding vows, I vowed to submit to my husband on our wedding day. I was proud to offer that up in my vows and I honestly meant it.
Have I always submitted to my husband? Absolutely not. I wish I could say I kept my vows like a dutiful, Christian wife. Alas, I have failed miserably at that on many of our married days (14 years worth of days.) Although, if I had, then I know my married life would have been easier along the way. He has a great knack for discernment. He does well at distancing himself from situations that are toxic and he does not people please. People pleasing.... ahhh... my nemesis.
In the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve were given their "punishments" by God for trusting Satan (aka the serpent) more than trusting Him... Eve was cursed with the pain of childbirth and the pain of wanting to be in control over her man. Adam was cursed with working for his family to provide for them (the Bible specifically says working the ground) and also he was cursed with death, because they would no longer have access to the Tree of Life in the Garden. Since they were getting kicked out and all. (It's all right here in the Bible)
Today has been a tough day though. There is things in my life that the Lord wants me to rid myself of. Responsibilities I have taken on (in the name of people pleasing) that I no longer need to be carrying. This year He keeps telling me to simplify. Every time I have the desire to take on more responsibility, then I hear the ever present whisper of the Father in my ear saying, "Simplify". Let's face it... when you know the Lord is speaking to you then we should listen, right? And I hear Him! I do!! But then I feel like Zechariah when the angel appears to him in the tabernacle and tells him his wife (very old wife) will bear him a son he will name John and Zechariah is like, "What are you talking about? How can this happen! I don't understand the details of this at all." (The actual words are here) And that's me. Just like that. "Okay, God. I know you're on to something and I believe you and all, but I'm not sure how this is going to work. I'm just not sure." And then, doesn't that make me a whole lot like Eve? Trusting myself. Trusting the lies of satan. Trusting everyone... everything... except God?
Oh how people pleasing will get me every time!! Because the truth is... I don't really want to hurt anyone's feelings. However, no boundaries and pleasing others always comes with a big fat price tag. Who suffers the most? My family. The ones I love most. Just like Adam and Eve. Adam wasn't being head over his wife. Eve wasn't submitting to Adam. The price was being kicked out of the Garden and who suffered? Their children for all generations (and themselves too.) The sin of people pleasing? Always has a price.
I've talked to the Hubs about releasing these responsibilities I have taken on that don't "belong" to me. He keeps saying, "Deborah. I'm going to take care of this. You don't have to worry about it. Your focus should not be on these things. Please just focus on our family. Focus on our children. Homeschooling. Your Bible Study. Focus on these things you've been called to. Stop focusing on everything that isn't yours." And I know he is right. I believe him. God put him head over me for a reason. For me to submit to his authority. For me not to be in control or to manage how he handles situations. For me to trust that what he says is true. And I know it is, because what he says is in keeping with God's Word.
God has placed him over me to guide me, help me, and protect me. Even though Adam failed to protect Eve from the serpent in the Garden. He left her to deal with a big issue that she shouldn't have had to face alone. God had put Adam over her to protect her. Even though he failed that one time... as we all do from time to time.. he would now spend a lifetime working to protect her. And she would spend a lifetime learning how to let him.
So my prayer tonight is that I will not have to learn this the hard way. May the Lord help me learn to humbly submit to my husband, which also is submission to the Father. May the Lord grant my husband wisdom to deal with some big situations (that don't involve me), and may I realize that I don't have to be involved. May God be glorified and Heaven help me not take a lifetime to learn how to submit to my man and the Lord.
**Let me add that submission is not an excuse for abuse. Submission is not to take away my opinions or rights as a woman or in our marriage. Submission is for my husband to lead our family in the direction the Lord leads us and for me to follow. Submission is for me to have opinions, but him having the final say. No I don't always like it. That's the curse, remember?! God knows we don't always want to follow... and no we don't always like it. However, it's trusting that he is in tune with what God has willed for our family. Trusting that the Hubs is submitting to God and all I need to do is step back so he and God can work it out.**
