Discerning Toxic People

I lead a bible study in the community once a week. We are wrapping up the study Breaking Free by Beth Moore. This study has been great even though I did most of this work with my counselor throughout our many years together. It's been a great reminder to me and it's also been a sweet time of watching the women around me to grow in their walks with the Lord and finding new truths of what the Bible says about breaking free of strongholds & bondage.

Something I have really prayed for this year is for the Lord to give me more discernment. I fall into friendships very easily and often realize (too late) how toxic those friendships are. I am too trusting of other people. I let people walk all over me and take advantage of me. That's who I am, but it's not who I want to be. The Bible speaks often about having strong boundaries, being strong women, and those who are easily deceived being led astray. Paul speaks of this quite a bit! So, this year it's been my prayer to ask the Lord to put in me a strong will of discernment. He is faithful & I know He will do it!

So at our last Bible Study, Beth Moore spoke on 2 Timothy 3:1-5 and how people are sinful. People are the mark of the times much moreso than natural disasters! One thing she specifically spoke on was toxic people. 2 Timothy 3:5 says "Have nothing to do with these people." So whereas some people think it's sinful to walk away from relationships that are toxic, hurtful, and even sinful... Paul is regarding it as healthy to walk away. We cannot serve toxic people who bring strife into our lives while also serving the One, True God! It's impossible.

Along with what I am learning, I also want to share with you some major points that Beth spoke about that really, really spoke to me... because truthfully... it was profound to me!! Please understand Beth's words here... She clarifies in a major way on her video.. This *does NOT* apply to your spouse or your children. Every other relationship is what this would apply to.

*There are some people we need to have nothing to do with. They may be fine without us and we may be fine without them, but together... it is TOXIC!

*In a relationship: if you find yourself suddenly feeling weak/fragile. All other times of your life you feel strong and capable, but when you're with a certain person you are consistently questioning yourself and feeling vulerable. Run, Sister, that relationship is TOXIC!

*Beware of people who make you feel like you cannot do anything alone. That you're incapable to be alone and/or you *need* them in order to survive or accomplish task(s). That person is TOXIC!

* When you get a feeling in the pit of your gut that something feels off in a relationship, then that's a warning sign. Take that warning and run. The Lord is giving you discernment!

Have extreme caution towards incongruity: people with a form of godliness but denying it's power (2 Tim. 3:5) "Form" is the recognizable Greek word morphosis. Morphosis (to morph into something else). 2 Corinthians 11:14 "And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." Godly people can do ungodly things! Don't. Ever. Forget. That!

Have extreme caution towards instant intimacy: "The kind who worm their way into homes." 2 Timothy 3:6 "They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women". Weak-willed women in the Greek suggests "little women" but it's more precisely women are easily deceived and/or prone to temptation. Their weakness is primarily moral, not intellectual. Smart women who do dumb things. Little women give themselves over to damaged emotions.

I praise God I have been redeemed and no longer give myself over to damaged emotions. I used to be a perpetual "damsel in distress" and praise Him I am no longer in that mode anymore. However, I do not in any way want to be considered a little woman. We can be powerless OR we can be powerful, strong-willed, & empowered women who wreak havoc on satan's plans! I choose the latter!

Have extreme caution towards increasing control: the kind of person who gains control over time. Through jealousy. Through claiming to want to help you. Someone can easily say they want to help and then worm themselves into your life so deeply that you feel trapped, but yet you fell for it because they claim, "I just want to help you." In actuality, they have no basis for helping you at all. They have a basis for wanting to control you and the relationship you're in.

If you get these warning signals... then stand up against evil. Stand up for yourself. Be strong. Be courageous. This may be a stronghold in your life as I'm realizing it has been one of mine. I will overcome it. I have (through the power of Jesus) the power to demolish strongholds!! As do you sweet Sister!

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."