I am so blessed to be a mother. It is something I wanted from the time I was a young child and my dream has come true several times over! God has been so good and so gracious to me in motherhood. It is my greatest blessing and my greatest accomplishment!
I don't know about your situation with your children, but one of my children is very challenging. To handle, to discipline, to teach, and admittedly.. sometimes even to like. Dare I say it? Sometimes this child is hard to love. To type those words seriously makes me cringe. To read them may make you cringe. Or maybe you can relate? Maybe you've been feeling exactly the same way, but haven't been able to openly say so?
I would like to share with you what I wish every mother knew about my life with my challenging child. I want to tell you what I *wish* I could say to this child of mine. This child will never truly know how it feels to be the mom... unless this child is blessed with a like-minded child of their own!!
To my challenging child,
There are days. Hard, difficult days. Days that I go to my bathroom, close the door, and cry out to the Lord with tears streaming down my face. Begging for Jehovah Jireh to help me, because I feel like a failure.
There are days. Days that I give myself a pep talk. God gave me you, because He picked me out to be *your* mom! He knew that you would challenge me as a mother and yet He knew that I needed you! He knew that my relationship with you would draw me closer to Him.
There are days. Days that I petition God for buckets full of wisdom. Wisdom to parent you in a way that will be beneficial and helpful for you. While also helping you to understand discipline, sinfulness, and repentance.
There are days. Days that I question God. I question how can I keep going? I question if I can do this for the rest of the day, week, month, year(s)? I question if I handled that situation in a way that was honoring to the Father and to you? I question why God would give me a child that is such a challenge to parent.
There are days. Days that I am embarrassed of your behavior as you have a troublesome moment with another child. When you throw a fit, roll your eyes, stomp your foot, and pull away from me while I attempt to talk you through an arduous occasion. Days that I want to throw my hands in the air and give up. Days that I question over and over again how I could have handled "that" differently.
I have many days that I spend on my knees prayerfully asking the Lord to help me be the mother you need. I do not believe in letting you get away with sinfulness in your heart or mind. I long for you to be the best adult created by God that He has planned for you! So yes, I have days... lots of days... that are oh so hard!
However, I also want you to know this...
I love you fiercely. When you are hard to love, then I pray for God to make me love you even more! Despite the calamity of tough days... I am proud of you! I am proud to call you mine! I am proud that you are such a wonderful sibling and always willing to drop whatever you're doing to be a servant of the Lord and help me, your dad, or someone else who may need you!
Those prayers I pray? Are to help you use your strong-will and strength for the glory of God!
Those tears that fall? Are caught by the hands of our Almighty Father as He wipes away my tears so that I am better equipped to wipe away yours.
That pep talk I give myself? Is because I know that God has amazing plans for you! You, who love to stand strong upon your truth, will stand upon the truth of God as a mighty warrior for God's kingdom one day! Especially as our world continues to destruct.. I know you won't!
The wisdom I beg God for? Is so that I can be knowledgeable in God's word. So that as your parent and as your teacher, then I can help you be intelligent too. So that you will be clothed in the armor of God in your every day walk with Jehovah.
The days that I question God? Are because He longs to grow me closer to Him. Bringing me into a better relationship with Him. So I will draw nearer Him and allow Him to be my peace. Isaiah 30:15 says that when I rest in Him then I will find my salvation and when I am quiet and trust in Him, then He is my confidence. He speaks rest and wisdom over me, so that I can be the mother I need to be for you!
When I am embarrassed, then I know the Lord is further breaking my need to be a people-pleaser. The Holy Spirit continues to humble me when I am fearing man's thoughts of me more than His thoughts of me. He brings me to tears of repentance for my selfishness. The truth is... what is most crucial is shaping your heart to be more like Jesus. God continues to stifle any prideful moments in me that like to rear their ugly head!
So yes, child of mine, as challenging as life can be.. I am glad that I get to be your mom! I am glad to call you my child. I am grateful that when I am difficult to love, then God doesn't give up on me. Rest assured, sweet child of mine, that I will never give up on you either! You are a child of the King and I know the Holy Spirit will mold you, because God has shown me over and over again that He has big plans for you! Your strong-will, your tenaciousness, your driven nature, and your outspoken opinions are sure to be used to the glory of God! It is my hope that as I continue to cultivate my relationship with the Lord that I will grow to be a little more like you!
Showing posts with label boundaries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boundaries. Show all posts
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Discerning Toxic People
I lead a bible study in the community once a week. We are wrapping up the study Breaking Free by Beth Moore. This study has been great even though I did most of this work with my counselor throughout our many years together. It's been a great reminder to me and it's also been a sweet time of watching the women around me to grow in their walks with the Lord and finding new truths of what the Bible says about breaking free of strongholds & bondage.
Something I have really prayed for this year is for the Lord to give me more discernment. I fall into friendships very easily and often realize (too late) how toxic those friendships are. I am too trusting of other people. I let people walk all over me and take advantage of me. That's who I am, but it's not who I want to be. The Bible speaks often about having strong boundaries, being strong women, and those who are easily deceived being led astray. Paul speaks of this quite a bit! So, this year it's been my prayer to ask the Lord to put in me a strong will of discernment. He is faithful & I know He will do it!
So at our last Bible Study, Beth Moore spoke on 2 Timothy 3:1-5 and how people are sinful. People are the mark of the times much moreso than natural disasters! One thing she specifically spoke on was toxic people. 2 Timothy 3:5 says "Have nothing to do with these people." So whereas some people think it's sinful to walk away from relationships that are toxic, hurtful, and even sinful... Paul is regarding it as healthy to walk away. We cannot serve toxic people who bring strife into our lives while also serving the One, True God! It's impossible.
Along with what I am learning, I also want to share with you some major points that Beth spoke about that really, really spoke to me... because truthfully... it was profound to me!! Please understand Beth's words here... She clarifies in a major way on her video.. This *does NOT* apply to your spouse or your children. Every other relationship is what this would apply to.
*There are some people we need to have nothing to do with. They may be fine without us and we may be fine without them, but together... it is TOXIC!
*In a relationship: if you find yourself suddenly feeling weak/fragile. All other times of your life you feel strong and capable, but when you're with a certain person you are consistently questioning yourself and feeling vulerable. Run, Sister, that relationship is TOXIC!
*Beware of people who make you feel like you cannot do anything alone. That you're incapable to be alone and/or you *need* them in order to survive or accomplish task(s). That person is TOXIC!
* When you get a feeling in the pit of your gut that something feels off in a relationship, then that's a warning sign. Take that warning and run. The Lord is giving you discernment!
Have extreme caution towards incongruity: people with a form of godliness but denying it's power (2 Tim. 3:5) "Form" is the recognizable Greek word morphosis. Morphosis (to morph into something else). 2 Corinthians 11:14 "And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." Godly people can do ungodly things! Don't. Ever. Forget. That!
Have extreme caution towards instant intimacy: "The kind who worm their way into homes." 2 Timothy 3:6 "They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women". Weak-willed women in the Greek suggests "little women" but it's more precisely women are easily deceived and/or prone to temptation. Their weakness is primarily moral, not intellectual. Smart women who do dumb things. Little women give themselves over to damaged emotions.
I praise God I have been redeemed and no longer give myself over to damaged emotions. I used to be a perpetual "damsel in distress" and praise Him I am no longer in that mode anymore. However, I do not in any way want to be considered a little woman. We can be powerless OR we can be powerful, strong-willed, & empowered women who wreak havoc on satan's plans! I choose the latter!
Have extreme caution towards increasing control: the kind of person who gains control over time. Through jealousy. Through claiming to want to help you. Someone can easily say they want to help and then worm themselves into your life so deeply that you feel trapped, but yet you fell for it because they claim, "I just want to help you." In actuality, they have no basis for helping you at all. They have a basis for wanting to control you and the relationship you're in.
If you get these warning signals... then stand up against evil. Stand up for yourself. Be strong. Be courageous. This may be a stronghold in your life as I'm realizing it has been one of mine. I will overcome it. I have (through the power of Jesus) the power to demolish strongholds!! As do you sweet Sister!
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
Something I have really prayed for this year is for the Lord to give me more discernment. I fall into friendships very easily and often realize (too late) how toxic those friendships are. I am too trusting of other people. I let people walk all over me and take advantage of me. That's who I am, but it's not who I want to be. The Bible speaks often about having strong boundaries, being strong women, and those who are easily deceived being led astray. Paul speaks of this quite a bit! So, this year it's been my prayer to ask the Lord to put in me a strong will of discernment. He is faithful & I know He will do it!
So at our last Bible Study, Beth Moore spoke on 2 Timothy 3:1-5 and how people are sinful. People are the mark of the times much moreso than natural disasters! One thing she specifically spoke on was toxic people. 2 Timothy 3:5 says "Have nothing to do with these people." So whereas some people think it's sinful to walk away from relationships that are toxic, hurtful, and even sinful... Paul is regarding it as healthy to walk away. We cannot serve toxic people who bring strife into our lives while also serving the One, True God! It's impossible.
Along with what I am learning, I also want to share with you some major points that Beth spoke about that really, really spoke to me... because truthfully... it was profound to me!! Please understand Beth's words here... She clarifies in a major way on her video.. This *does NOT* apply to your spouse or your children. Every other relationship is what this would apply to.
*There are some people we need to have nothing to do with. They may be fine without us and we may be fine without them, but together... it is TOXIC!
*In a relationship: if you find yourself suddenly feeling weak/fragile. All other times of your life you feel strong and capable, but when you're with a certain person you are consistently questioning yourself and feeling vulerable. Run, Sister, that relationship is TOXIC!
*Beware of people who make you feel like you cannot do anything alone. That you're incapable to be alone and/or you *need* them in order to survive or accomplish task(s). That person is TOXIC!
* When you get a feeling in the pit of your gut that something feels off in a relationship, then that's a warning sign. Take that warning and run. The Lord is giving you discernment!
Have extreme caution towards incongruity: people with a form of godliness but denying it's power (2 Tim. 3:5) "Form" is the recognizable Greek word morphosis. Morphosis (to morph into something else). 2 Corinthians 11:14 "And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." Godly people can do ungodly things! Don't. Ever. Forget. That!
Have extreme caution towards instant intimacy: "The kind who worm their way into homes." 2 Timothy 3:6 "They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women". Weak-willed women in the Greek suggests "little women" but it's more precisely women are easily deceived and/or prone to temptation. Their weakness is primarily moral, not intellectual. Smart women who do dumb things. Little women give themselves over to damaged emotions.
I praise God I have been redeemed and no longer give myself over to damaged emotions. I used to be a perpetual "damsel in distress" and praise Him I am no longer in that mode anymore. However, I do not in any way want to be considered a little woman. We can be powerless OR we can be powerful, strong-willed, & empowered women who wreak havoc on satan's plans! I choose the latter!
Have extreme caution towards increasing control: the kind of person who gains control over time. Through jealousy. Through claiming to want to help you. Someone can easily say they want to help and then worm themselves into your life so deeply that you feel trapped, but yet you fell for it because they claim, "I just want to help you." In actuality, they have no basis for helping you at all. They have a basis for wanting to control you and the relationship you're in.
If you get these warning signals... then stand up against evil. Stand up for yourself. Be strong. Be courageous. This may be a stronghold in your life as I'm realizing it has been one of mine. I will overcome it. I have (through the power of Jesus) the power to demolish strongholds!! As do you sweet Sister!
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Better with Boundaries
For many years I have struggled with putting boundaries in place. Learning that it's okay to say no. Realizing that if I am unable to be apart of something or choose not to do it, then I am not in sin.
I grew up in a home of high expectations. I was not allowed to have an opinion and I most certainly was not allowed to say no. However, my thoughts and attitudes were secretly expected to match those of my mother. This left me in a perpetual state of guessing her desires and trying to live up to them. That's a day in the life as a child of a narcissist.
For many years I was in counseling. Learning who I was and who I'm not. Determining I'm not persistently in sin or bad for having my own thoughts & desires. Grasping this new idea of boundaries. Through counseling and reading books I realized that boundaries are a Christian thing to do. It's something God himself does. It is not sinful and it is not wrong and boundaries are actually a sign of being healthy!
I learned this concept about 5 years ago. Truly put it into practice 2 years ago. Fought for my life with it 1 year ago. Fought & won! It was a battle of boundaries to pull myself up from the mire I was sinking in and declare myself an adult Christian woman with a family who deserved to be treated respectfully & honorably. Psalm 69:14 "Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from those who hate me, from the deep waters." was my anthem... and God did that for me!
So yes, I was rescued! I fought the battle! I won the war! God and me!! Truthfully though, I still wrestle with my old demons of feeling "bad" and "unworthy" and "unrighteous" for setting boundaries. Even though over and over the Lord has revealed to me that I am not in sin. In fact, I am choosing to follow Him instead of the idols of pleasing people.
THEN!! This week in Esther the Lord revealed something big to me!! Esther set a HUGE boundary! Haman had set a date to kill her and all her people. She had gone before the King twice! The second time she revealed to him what Haman was planning... annihilation of her people. The King stormed out and Haman stayed behind with Esther to plead for his life. Harem protocol in those days was that no man should be alone with one of the King's women and even moreso, not within 7 feet! Haman, however, *fell on the couch* where Esther was laying. He really felt he had nothing more to lose!
So let me pause for a moment. I've set boundaries and they weren't accepted well... at all. Later, after boundaries were kept in place, then I was given apologies. Half-hearted apologies. Not sincere ones. Just shame-inducing excuses to try and get me back into a place where I used to be.. under the influence of mental abuse. I didn't accept these apologies. Although, in my heart I had forgiven these boundary-less and merciless people who wreaked havoc in my life. I had taken them to the cross of Jesus and left them there for Him to heal and help. Because, honestly, I no longer could.
Now, returning to Esther. Beth Moore says, "I don't think she could take the chance that he or the situation would change. Furthermore, does begging for one's life equal repentance? Is anything more natural or instinctive than pleading for your own skin when it's in jeopardy?" I hear that! I recognize that sort of apology! It isn't for the sake of truly seeking repentance... it's purely for the advantage of someone else's reputation.
"So long as an enemy as powerful and shrewd as Haman lived he was a threat to Esther, Mordecai, and the Jewish community. To say here that Esther was merciless and unfeeling is to misinterpret the entire situation. Thus, while her heart might have prompted her to be merciful, logic and prudence restrained her." - Carey, Moore, The Anchor Bible Commentary.
So the truth is, Friends, boundaries are important. For all of us, even Queens of Persia! They aren't sinful or ungodly. They are necessary. Beth Moore states that if someone goes out of their way to harm someone else they're digging a pit. Psalm 7:15-16 "Whoever digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit they have made.The trouble they cause recoils on them; their violence comes down on their own heads." Haman dug his pit. "Knowingly or not, Haman had placed himself in Satan's hands only to be betrayed by him. It happens every time." - Beth Moore.
My family dug their pit by choosing to ignore me beseeching them for grace and extensions of mercy. For years, I asked them to listen to me instead of ignore me. To talk respectfully to my husband and me instead of calling me names or disparage my man. For years, I begged and cried. I demanded and hoped. I wrote letters and I waited. The pit was dug. As Beth says, "In effect Christ says, 'I'm already great enough for both of us,' relieving the willing of their woeful burden. 'Just follow Me.'" So I chose to lay down the life of mental abuse, and walk away.. as hard as that was.. to the life that Jesus had intended for me. I laid down my life and followed Jesus!
So, I share this all with you to say that once again the Lord redeemed me this week from the shackles of fear. Fear that I am not a good person. Fear that I am sinful for setting boundaries. Fear that I am "bad". He continues to redeem me and set me free. He continues to rescue me and show me that I am His!
I can identify with Paul in the Bible who says "But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me--and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace." 1 Corinthians 15:10
For many years I was in counseling. Learning who I was and who I'm not. Determining I'm not persistently in sin or bad for having my own thoughts & desires. Grasping this new idea of boundaries. Through counseling and reading books I realized that boundaries are a Christian thing to do. It's something God himself does. It is not sinful and it is not wrong and boundaries are actually a sign of being healthy!
I learned this concept about 5 years ago. Truly put it into practice 2 years ago. Fought for my life with it 1 year ago. Fought & won! It was a battle of boundaries to pull myself up from the mire I was sinking in and declare myself an adult Christian woman with a family who deserved to be treated respectfully & honorably. Psalm 69:14 "Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from those who hate me, from the deep waters." was my anthem... and God did that for me!
So yes, I was rescued! I fought the battle! I won the war! God and me!! Truthfully though, I still wrestle with my old demons of feeling "bad" and "unworthy" and "unrighteous" for setting boundaries. Even though over and over the Lord has revealed to me that I am not in sin. In fact, I am choosing to follow Him instead of the idols of pleasing people.
THEN!! This week in Esther the Lord revealed something big to me!! Esther set a HUGE boundary! Haman had set a date to kill her and all her people. She had gone before the King twice! The second time she revealed to him what Haman was planning... annihilation of her people. The King stormed out and Haman stayed behind with Esther to plead for his life. Harem protocol in those days was that no man should be alone with one of the King's women and even moreso, not within 7 feet! Haman, however, *fell on the couch* where Esther was laying. He really felt he had nothing more to lose!
So let me pause for a moment. I've set boundaries and they weren't accepted well... at all. Later, after boundaries were kept in place, then I was given apologies. Half-hearted apologies. Not sincere ones. Just shame-inducing excuses to try and get me back into a place where I used to be.. under the influence of mental abuse. I didn't accept these apologies. Although, in my heart I had forgiven these boundary-less and merciless people who wreaked havoc in my life. I had taken them to the cross of Jesus and left them there for Him to heal and help. Because, honestly, I no longer could.
Now, returning to Esther. Beth Moore says, "I don't think she could take the chance that he or the situation would change. Furthermore, does begging for one's life equal repentance? Is anything more natural or instinctive than pleading for your own skin when it's in jeopardy?" I hear that! I recognize that sort of apology! It isn't for the sake of truly seeking repentance... it's purely for the advantage of someone else's reputation.
"So long as an enemy as powerful and shrewd as Haman lived he was a threat to Esther, Mordecai, and the Jewish community. To say here that Esther was merciless and unfeeling is to misinterpret the entire situation. Thus, while her heart might have prompted her to be merciful, logic and prudence restrained her." - Carey, Moore, The Anchor Bible Commentary.
So the truth is, Friends, boundaries are important. For all of us, even Queens of Persia! They aren't sinful or ungodly. They are necessary. Beth Moore states that if someone goes out of their way to harm someone else they're digging a pit. Psalm 7:15-16 "Whoever digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit they have made.The trouble they cause recoils on them; their violence comes down on their own heads." Haman dug his pit. "Knowingly or not, Haman had placed himself in Satan's hands only to be betrayed by him. It happens every time." - Beth Moore.
My family dug their pit by choosing to ignore me beseeching them for grace and extensions of mercy. For years, I asked them to listen to me instead of ignore me. To talk respectfully to my husband and me instead of calling me names or disparage my man. For years, I begged and cried. I demanded and hoped. I wrote letters and I waited. The pit was dug. As Beth says, "In effect Christ says, 'I'm already great enough for both of us,' relieving the willing of their woeful burden. 'Just follow Me.'" So I chose to lay down the life of mental abuse, and walk away.. as hard as that was.. to the life that Jesus had intended for me. I laid down my life and followed Jesus!
So, I share this all with you to say that once again the Lord redeemed me this week from the shackles of fear. Fear that I am not a good person. Fear that I am sinful for setting boundaries. Fear that I am "bad". He continues to redeem me and set me free. He continues to rescue me and show me that I am His!
I can identify with Paul in the Bible who says "But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me--and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace." 1 Corinthians 15:10
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Fearful Existence
As a young child, I didn't understand these emotions. Now that I do, I can tell you that most children with narcissistic parents wrestle with fear. My fear translated itself into safety within my home. What if we were broken into? What if someone tried to kill me in my sleep? I could crawl out my window, but there are woods behind me and I might get lost. Every night, I tried to figure out what I'd do if & when this happened. My emotional fear had transferred itself and threatened my physical safety. Which, oddly enough, only created more fear & emotional turmoil inside of me.
Today, I still wrestle with fear. Fearful of being broken into. Fearful that I may appear stupid when talking with others.... that I might say the wrong thing. Fearful that I am not liked. Fearful that others will think poorly of me. I'll admit to you though, the times that my fear runs the most rampant in my mind, is when I am not taking care of myself emotionally. I have to be diligent to stay in God's word. I have to keep my boundaries strong for what I want & desire for my life and not allow others to determine those boundaries for me. I have to reach out and ask for help when my fear is threatening to overtake me. When we bring our fear out of the darkness & into the light of God, then satan can no longer use those fears to haunt us.
For years, I have chosen to unshackle my prisons of fear. It is something I take to the cross every day, because I serve a big God!!
Friends, I love the different names of God! The one I am continuing to learn about Him right now is His name, El Elroi. Which means, God Who Sees! I love that He sees my affliction and knows my heart. I love that He knows when nobody else knows. I love that He knows when I don't know. I love that He is the all-knowing, ever seeing, and always loving God! He has me in His hands and it's with His power that I continue to turn my fear over to Him and allow Him to make me perfect in His love. He can do the same for you, Friend!
Jesus can cast fear out of your life. Jesus can cast drug addition out of your life. Jesus can heal you from your sexual sin. Jesus can bring you to Himself and save you out of the darkness you're in! How do I know this? Because Jesus continues to redeem me from the mentally abusive childhood I endured and it is Jesus who has healed my brokenness and made me new! He knows, Friend... He knows!!! Will you let Jesus know you today?
Psalm 84:11-12 "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you."
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Busy
I have spent a good portion of my life being busy and staying busy. We have seemingly learned as a society that we are bad if we stay still. If we allow ourselves to just sit and be still in the moment, then perhaps we are lazy. If we don't do the dishes right after dinner, then perhaps we are dirty. If we don't take our children to every event available, then perhaps we are bad parents. You get the idea!
It's been in recent years that I've been in the process of truly learning to just be in the moment. I used to "do it all" and say to myself, "It's just time. I can do this!" However, I am thankful to no longer be rushing around with an endless to do list. My children enjoy the fact that I am no longer telling them "hold on" or "in just a minute" every time they want/need my attention. We homeschool, so they want/need my attention often.
Let me share with you some ways that I have learned over the years to stop being so busy.
1) Stop buying the lies of satan who claims you're not good enough. These are lies straight from the pit of darkness. Satan wants you to feel inadequate as a spouse, parent, worker, child, sibling, etc. Stop buying the lies, Friends! Satan cannot define you.. only God does!
2) What's for dinner? We cannot do everything. We cannot make gourmet meals and be at soccer practice by 5. It just isn't possible. Maybe you need to do sandwiches for dinner one night. Eat on paper plates. Reheat left overs. Have what my family calls an "easy" night. Which means, if you want it, then you get it! If you want left overs, then reheat. If you want a pb&j then start spreading. If you want a can of soup, then grab the can opener. This is coming from me who loves to cook. However, some nights I want/need a break and our pockets can't always handle a night out.
3) Do you have too many extras? Your kids are in sports. You're in bible study. You work. You homeschool. You volunteer. You plan family gatherings. You run a business. You clean your home. You make meals. You read. You study. You watch tv. You have long commutes. You have date nights. The list is endless. The list of to-do's can be overwhelming sometimes.
Maybe you need to pick just a few things that have to be done for now and just do those. When I was running a successful direct sales business, homeschooling, my kids were involved in sports, and we were at church and choir on Sundays & Wednesdays then my days were jam packed. I was exhausted! However, during that season of life that required so much busy-ness from me. Then I chose no extra curriculars. I had several study groups that I turned down. I turned down MOPs. I turned down social gatherings. I did enough house work to get by and enlisted help from The Hubs & kiddos with the rest. We have to pick & choose and we have to choose wisely, because we cannot burn ourselves into the ground. Running endlesslessly isn't taing care of the temple the Lord has given us. (Psalm 127:2)
4) Schedule time for you! Seek the Lord. Pray. Read. Watch tv. Drink a cup of coffee or tea. Rejuvenate. Refresh. Recharge! You HAVE to do this for yourself. Whether you're a stay at home Mom or a working corporate person. You have to take care of yourself if you want to take care of others or do your job well.
I have learned to slow down and take in the beauty of the Lord's creation around me. Something I am learning to do and not feel guilty about is read while my Littles play. We have a screened in porch and I like to sit and read in there while my children are outside. I can be apart of their playing experience without having to be completely present. I like to listen to the birds, watch the squirrels play, and enjoy the laughter of our beautiful children. I feel blessed there. I feel replenished and always walk away with joy renewed in my heart.
Exodus 33:14 "The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
How do you find rest in the midst of all the busy?
It's been in recent years that I've been in the process of truly learning to just be in the moment. I used to "do it all" and say to myself, "It's just time. I can do this!" However, I am thankful to no longer be rushing around with an endless to do list. My children enjoy the fact that I am no longer telling them "hold on" or "in just a minute" every time they want/need my attention. We homeschool, so they want/need my attention often.
Let me share with you some ways that I have learned over the years to stop being so busy.
1) Stop buying the lies of satan who claims you're not good enough. These are lies straight from the pit of darkness. Satan wants you to feel inadequate as a spouse, parent, worker, child, sibling, etc. Stop buying the lies, Friends! Satan cannot define you.. only God does!
2) What's for dinner? We cannot do everything. We cannot make gourmet meals and be at soccer practice by 5. It just isn't possible. Maybe you need to do sandwiches for dinner one night. Eat on paper plates. Reheat left overs. Have what my family calls an "easy" night. Which means, if you want it, then you get it! If you want left overs, then reheat. If you want a pb&j then start spreading. If you want a can of soup, then grab the can opener. This is coming from me who loves to cook. However, some nights I want/need a break and our pockets can't always handle a night out.
3) Do you have too many extras? Your kids are in sports. You're in bible study. You work. You homeschool. You volunteer. You plan family gatherings. You run a business. You clean your home. You make meals. You read. You study. You watch tv. You have long commutes. You have date nights. The list is endless. The list of to-do's can be overwhelming sometimes.
Maybe you need to pick just a few things that have to be done for now and just do those. When I was running a successful direct sales business, homeschooling, my kids were involved in sports, and we were at church and choir on Sundays & Wednesdays then my days were jam packed. I was exhausted! However, during that season of life that required so much busy-ness from me. Then I chose no extra curriculars. I had several study groups that I turned down. I turned down MOPs. I turned down social gatherings. I did enough house work to get by and enlisted help from The Hubs & kiddos with the rest. We have to pick & choose and we have to choose wisely, because we cannot burn ourselves into the ground. Running endlesslessly isn't taing care of the temple the Lord has given us. (Psalm 127:2)
4) Schedule time for you! Seek the Lord. Pray. Read. Watch tv. Drink a cup of coffee or tea. Rejuvenate. Refresh. Recharge! You HAVE to do this for yourself. Whether you're a stay at home Mom or a working corporate person. You have to take care of yourself if you want to take care of others or do your job well.
I have learned to slow down and take in the beauty of the Lord's creation around me. Something I am learning to do and not feel guilty about is read while my Littles play. We have a screened in porch and I like to sit and read in there while my children are outside. I can be apart of their playing experience without having to be completely present. I like to listen to the birds, watch the squirrels play, and enjoy the laughter of our beautiful children. I feel blessed there. I feel replenished and always walk away with joy renewed in my heart.
Exodus 33:14 "The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
How do you find rest in the midst of all the busy?
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