Words For Better or Words For Worse?

I grew up in a home where words were used to bring harm. A playful jest that was only truly fun for the jester. Yells & screams of imperfection haunted me by those I longed to please most. Words spoken over me that wrought fear of uncertainty and unknowns within my bones. 

It wasn't until I got married that I realized the damaging words that encased my heart. It was then that I used those same words to bring harm to my new husband. Our marriage was deteriorating in the few short months since we had both donned our wedding bands. A kind, courageous friend pulled me aside one day and spoke the truth with love to me. A truth that shook my core. "You're not a nice wife", she told me. She explained to me how she had seen my bullying, emasculating, and hateful words to tear my husband down. The sad part was... I knew it was all true. I had done that & I felt utter shame.

But why?

It shattered the very being of who I was but the answer was quite simple. Using my words in that sort of way was all I had ever known.

Thirteen years later and that man is a rock in my life and we are so very happily in love. I am grateful to God every day for saving our marriage.  I rejoice that the Father gave him to me to do life with! 

Candidly I share with you, I continue to be redeemed over the words I choose. I am still a work in progress.

That friend and I have since parted ways as we both moved to different states. Now, the Holy Spirit pulls me aside and whispers truths into my spirit... and lately he's continued to show me more about the words I speak.

Isaiah 58:13 says “If you call the Sabbath a delight, and the holy day of the Lord honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, seeking your own pleasure, or talking too much; then you will delight in the Lord.”

You see I've learned, our words are a developed picture of our heart. Matt. 15:18 says that what is in our hearts comes out of our mouths. Psalm 19:14 requests for the Lord to make the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart pleasing to Him for He is my rock & redeemer!  My words can defile others (Matt 15:11) and my words can oppress, rebel, and disgust the Lord (Isaiah 59:13)

Like the fires in Gatlinburg,TN that began with a small piece of brush from wildfires in the chimney tops destroyed more than 15,000 acres of mountains, our words have the same power. James 3:5-6 says, “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

Pic courtesy of The Watchers

 In Isaiah 6:6-7 Isaiah’s lips are purified by an angel with a burning coal. The fire within the coal purified his mouth and then wickedness was removed and his sins atoned for. This was his justification moment. His salvation moment! This speaks to me and shows me that if his lips were purified & all wickedness removed from him, then our mouth is a messenger that performs the potentially wicked duties of our heart.

So, we can choose… will we allow our mouths to be like that of a deadly spark that destroys the lives of others and wreaks havoc to those in our paths? Or will we allow our mouths to be like that of Isaiah? Allowing the angels to take the fire of purification and cleanse our mouths, therefore purifying our hearts?

My prayer is that my words will be uplifting and strengthening to others. This includes The Hubs and our precious children. As I come alongside others, then I want to use my words to encourage our fellowship with each other. I want my words to reveal Jesus to them! 

What about you? Can you relate? Are you using your words to reveal Jesus to others?

Unafflicted

My current Bible Study I'm doing is Beth Moore's Children of the Day. It's a study through 1 & 2 Thessalonians with Paul on his missionary journey. I'm only 1/3 of the way through, but it is a great lesson! I love doing Bible studies to learn more about the Bible. Digging deeper into God's word so I can learn more about Him! I've done several along with Beth Moore & Priscilla Shirer at this point and I've done some on my own. Unfortunately, time constraints don't allow me to do as many on my own these days as I wish. This season of my life is a bit hectic and that's okay. I love that God gives me these women to do studies with alongside the other women in my bible study group!

I must share that one of my favorite things about studying the Bible is seeing God's work all come together. A moment when you can see His abundance weaving through each part of the tapestry in His word! My lesson this morning interweaved with 2 past studies and I must share! It's a great word!

1 Thessalonians 3:1-4

Therefore when we could bear it no longer, we were willing to be left behind at Athens alone, 2 and we sent Timothy, our brother and God's coworker1 in the gospel of Christ, to establish and exhort you in your faith, 3 that no one be moved by these afflictions. For you yourselves know that we are destined for this. 4 For when we were with you, we kept telling you beforehand that we were to suffer affliction, just as it has come to pass, and just as you know.

the HCSB version says (in v. 3) 3 so that no one will be shaken by these persecutions. 

Affliction in the greek translates to Thlìpsis - figuratively to oppress with evil, afflict, distress. (Zodhiates, Dictionary, s.v.). 

Afflictions come from satan. They are meant to torment us, oppress us, and bring harm to us. 

Verse 4 says, however, the people had been warned beforehand that they would suffer. Knowing that they were told of such things gave them the opportunity to plant their feet. Be on guard. To stand firmly against any strikes the enemy might throw at us.

Ephesians 6:13-14  Reminds us to stand firmly against the enemy while putting on God's armor. We don't have to fight. We just have to put on God's armor. I actually did a blogpost earlier this year on standing firm with the armor of God - here.

Exodus 14:13  commands us to stand firm and see the Lord's salvation. Verse 14 goes on to remind us once we stand firm, then the Lord will fight for us!

So we can remember we don't have to fight against the oppression, affliction, and distress that satan tries to afflict us with! The LORD will fight for us!! All we have to do is stand firm. Be prepared.. with our armor! Then, when the Author of Lies tries to afflict us we won't be shaken!

It's a choice, really. Satan will attempt to afflict us. We have been warned of such in the Bible. I am warning you now. He *will* attempt to afflict you! We can choose to be afflicted or to stand firm. We can choose to be shaken or to stand still. 

What will you do? Will you let the Lord fight for you? 

I Need Jesus

Do you have days where all seems to go awry? My day was a little bit like that. I woke up early to have my bible study time. Waking up early has never been natural for me. Lately, however, I have been waking up at 5:30 am to begin my day. When all of my children wake up, then the organized chaos begins! I'm learning I like my early mornings by myself. However, this morning two of my kiddos woke up at 6:30. Just as my breakfast had finished cooking and I was about to sit down with my cup of coffee and my bible. (Those are 2 things that get me out of bed in the morning... coffee & my bible. Anybody else feel that way?) I informed them that I would get their breakfast, but they had to sit quietly at the table to eat and then they could go play in another room, because this morning... I need Jesus!

Boy did I ever need Jesus this morning! After I finished my bible time, then I got a text from a sweet friend & church member. Please pray. Along with a picture...  this sweet little girl (a family member to this friend) is having open heart surgery today. A sweet little baby that was possibly all of 1 month old... if my guess is a correct estimation from her picture.

So, I prayed for that sweet girl. Her doctors. Her parents.

I went to our homeschool co-op classes this morning. A lady shares, please pray. A family friend was 21 weeks pregnant and they had to take her baby yesterday. The baby has a 20% chance of life.

My heart broke. I prayed for that sweet little girl. Her doctors. Her parents. That no matter what... God would get the glory.

Later this evening, one of my best friends texted me. Please pray. I am 22 weeks pregnant and got bad news today about my baby girl. My heart is aching and I feel like my life has been changed forever as I know it. 

So, amidst tears I prayed for that baby girl. Her momma, my best friend & her husband. For the doctors. For the new life they will forever face.

Three baby girls who are so loved and cherished by our Heavenly Father. By our Maker, the Strong Creator, Elohim. Who created these beautiful girls with His tear filled, loving, & holy hands... knew this very day they would need lots of prayers.

First baby girl ended up not having surgery today. I'm sure there's a blessing & a hardship received with that very news. I'm sure her day of surgery will come soon and while she waits... I will continue to lift her up to our mighty God, our El Shaddai.

Second baby girl went home to be with Jesus. We don't know if her parents know Jesus, but I pray they do... or will come to. I have never experienced the loss of a child to the extent this mother is experiencing today. I know One who has though and it's my prayer that He will send the Holy Spirit to comfort this family and give them peace as they've never experienced before. For He is Jehovah Shammah. 

Third baby girl will continue to be bathed in my prayers (and that of others) until her birth day when the extent of her medical issues will be seen in their full fruition. Until then, she is held at the bosom of Adonai and her parents, my friends, put their full faith & trust in Him. Knowing that God can heal her at any time, if He so chooses! He is Jehovah Rapha.

So today, yes, I needed Jesus!! I needed Jesus, El Olam, to fill me up so that He could overflow me and I could have enough of Him to spill out and love on these people who came to me seeking prayer.  That's what my time with Jesus does for me. Fills me up. Spills over into every aspect of my life. I want to be so full of Jesus that He just oozes from me!! I am so thankful for my time with Him this morning. So tomorrow I shall do the same. Wake up at 5:30. Grab my bible & a cup of coffee... and I will be on my way to another day to serve those around me however I can. Whether it's through prayer or encouragement... God will guide me. But whatever lays in wait for me... one thing is for sure. I won't be able to do any of it without Jesus.

Beauty in the Trinity

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Have you ever looked at verses like these and been confused by the copious use of the word "he"? Who is "he" and who is "me" and who is "mine"? It can be a little confusing and honestly a verse that's easily looked over. But I ask that you stop and really explore it!

When the Spirit of Truth ~ this is the Holy Spirit ~ comes, he will guide you into all the truth.  For he (the Holy Spirit) will not speak on his own authority. Because all authority comes from God! but whatever He (Holy Spirit) hears he will speak and He, (the Holy Spirit) will declare to you the things that are to come. The Holy Spirit speaks truth over us!

He (the Holy Spirit) will glorify me. Me is Jesus! for He (Holy Spirit) will take what belongs to Jesus and declare it to you and me. Not ask. Not pretend. Not offered. DECLARED!

All that the Father has is mine (Jesus); therefore I said that He (God) will take what is mine (Jesus) and declare it to you! Declared means to proclaim something with solidarity and to announce with great emotion. It is to acknowledge possession of something.

Jesus is announcing with great proclamation that we have possession of all that's His!

I often feel like I'm lacking in discernment, confidence, and assurance of who I am. I pray often for God to give me discernment, confidence, and assurance. 2 Corinthians 2:16 says, "But we have the mind of Christ" so this means that I have the same knowledge in my mind that Christ has in His! I pray for discernment, confidence, and assurance, but because I have the same mind that Christ has, then I have discernment, confidence, and assurance through Him!

 Since I pray for these things and I have received the Holy Spirit who comes from God, then I have understanding of what's been given to me by God (1 Cor. 2:12) The Holy Spirit speaks truth over me. He declares to me what He has in mind for me. He tells me who I am because of Jesus! He sets me on the path (Psalm 16:11) that God has planned for me! Because I have Jesus, then I have the Holy Spirit within me, and because I have the Holy Spirit, then all discernment, confidence, and assurance is mine. It is given by the Father, administered by the Holy Spirit, and made whole within me through Jesus!

              Psalm 119:32-35

32I pursue the way of Your commands,

for You broaden my understanding.

33Teach me, LORD, the meaning of Your statutes,

and I will always keep them.

34Help me understand Your instruction,

and I will obey it

and follow it with all my heart.

35Help me stay on the path of Your commands,

for I take pleasure in it.

Praise our Holy Father who has all wisdom, power, and glory forevermore! So please know that because of God's love for us, then we are given the Holy Spirit. He pours blessings on us and goes before us to prepare the way (Mark 1:2). We are forgiven and made whole by the fullness of Jesus who died for our sins! 

prayerbench.ca

As I learn more about the beauty in the trinity, then I must declare there isn't anything more beautiful!

Do You Trust Him?

Have you ever thought of this verse before? Have you ever studied it? It is an amazing verse!

Here Paul is so excited to share just how willing God is to do things for us, that he cannot even add enough words to tell us. So, he just starts piling words on top of words to help us get the point. He isn't just exceeding our expectations. He isn't just pouring out abundance on us. He isn't just wanting to go above & beyond for us. He's wanting to do all of that.... on steroids! 

Think of the word hyper. Hyper|active means to be hyper to the highest degree. Hyper|extend is to flex something past the point of normal flexion. Hyper|thermia is the body reaching temperatures much higher than just normal thermia levels. So... it means above & beyond.

These words used by Paul are attached with hyper in the original text. So it's "God is able to do way more exceedingly, way more abundantly, way past above all that you can ask or think!" Do you believe it? Do you believe that God can do this for you? We only need to trust in His provisions, His will, and His desire for our lives. Sometimes, we must go through hardships and cannot be rescued because He longs to refine us. We still choose to trust Him and that He knows best for us. We either trust Him or we don't.

I have to share a testimony of this verse with you!

I had a yard sale this weekend. I worked SO hard on this yard sale. I priced every item (close to 200 items of clothing alone!) Every spare moment I had last week was spent on this sale. I had high hopes for my sale. I didn't want to make less than $100. My husband thought I was quite hilarious expecting to make no less than that. However, I was determined... because it's fall/winter clothing time and our kids all need new shoes & new-to-them clothes for the new season! I held the sale from 8-2. By 12, I had only made $25. TWENTY-FIVE!!! I wasn't happy, at all.

I went inside for a few minutes to take care of some things. So I began talking to the Lord. "Lord, you know how much money we need. You know how hard I worked. You know my expectations for what I hoped to get. Please send people our way." The Lord reminded me of this verse, Ephesians 3:20, that I've been studying for the last few weeks with my bible study. So I prayed, "Okay Lord. You can do exceedingly, abundantly, and above all that I ask or think. I know you can send people. So I trust in You." Clear as as if the Lord was standing right beside me, He spoke to my soul and said, "If you trust me then why are you so worried?" Ouch! Okay, okay Lord. Point taken. I thought to myself, even if I don't get $100, then maybe the Lord will stretch the money that I do make to be able to get new shoes for all our kiddos. (Winter shoes are much more expensive than summer shoes!)

By the end of the day (I still ended at 2.) I went to my kitchen table and began counting out my money. Guess how much I made? $130!! How good the Lord is. God is able!! He exceeded what I hoped to make, abundantly more than I asked for, and above what I even thought I'd make. Praise the Lord! He is SO faithful to us!

He can do exceedingly, abundantly, and above all that you ask or think too!! Do you trust Him? And if you trust Him, then why are you so worried? God is able!

The Beautiful Woman

Life has been a bit crazy lately, so I apologize for just now getting back to finishing up our Proverbs 31 study! This study has been such a blessing to my life and I hope and pray it's blessed you too!

Proverbs 31:30-31

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The Hebrew word for fleeting here means “breath” or “vapor”. We can truly understand how fleeting beauty is when we know that the meaning of it is just a breath or just a vapor of time.

Lately I’ve been seeing Hollywood actors portrayed in online articles about botched plastic surgery or who went too far in their surgery attempts, etc. I read through these and truthfully.. it breaks my heart. These actors aren’t allowed to age in their profession. They’re not allowed to be real people with real faces and real bodies. I’m not against plastic surgery, honestly. I don’t have a problem with it and I don’t think it’s sinful or wrong. However, I think the heart behind it can be sinful. I think when we become obsessed to be something we aren’t, then there’s a sin issue. I think when we look at ourselves and pick ourselves apart because we aren’t beautiful enough and yet, we are made in the image of God, then I think there’s a sin issue. It’s my opinion that when enough is never enough… Just one more surgery, just a few more pounds lost or gained, just a few more things, etc. When we are never satisfied with who we are, what we have, and what we’ve been given.. then there is a sin issue. A heart issue. An issue that we need to take to the cross of Jesus and lay at His feet to find healing and restoration from Him. To find redemption in who He created us to be! 

photo credit www.enchantingquotes.com

As the Proverbs reveal to us... charm is deceiving. Beauty is fleeting… it's just a vapor. It comes and then it can just as easily go. But a woman who fears the Lord… she will be praised. She will be blessed. Isaiah 60:1 says, “Arise, Jerusalem! Let your light shine for all to see. For the glory of the LORD rises to shine on you.” One of the most beautiful things we can understand about the Excellent Wife is that above all things regarding her appearance, she fears the Lord! She is concerned about what God thinks about her more than what others think about her. Her priorities are according to what God has called her to do.. not the expectation of others. She fears the Lord and because of this, 

then she is praised, admired, and honored by her family. Because of her fear of the Lord.. He rises up and His beauty shines upon her!

She is woman who is honored at the city gate. Women weren’t often recognized at the city gate, but an extraordinary woman definitely deserved extraordinary recognition. We can find so many wonderful assets & virtues about this woman and we can all hope that through prayer and growing closer to the Lord that we, too, can be an Excellent Wife (or for the unmarried... an Excellent Woman!)

What was your favorite part of learning about the Excellent Wife?

The Honorable Woman

Proverbs 31:26-29

When she speaks, her words are wise,

and she gives instructions with kindness.

She carefully watches everything in her household

and suffers nothing from laziness.

Her children stand and bless her.

Her husband praises her:

“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,

but you surpass them all!”

The Proverbs 31 woman is knowledgeable. About her job, possibly about world events, she is well-read and knows what’s going on around her. This verse is also likely referring to her teaching her children and her servant girls. It may also mean that she has good advice and that others come to her seeking her wisdom and gentle instruction. As a homeschool Mom, verse 26 makes me proud as a woman to know that she was teaching her children then as I teach my children today!



She is organized and she carries out her duties faithfully and energetically. She isn’t lazy or expecting others to carry her load. We all have a knapsack to carry through life. Nobody can carry our knapsack for us. There are times when we have great burdens in our lives and others will help us through those times. Those times are often considered to be burdens or boulders. House fires, victims of natural disasters, cancer, etc. Things like this are when we can come along beside our sister or brother and help them carry the boulder of life that’s too heavy for them to carry alone. However, general life is rarely a boulder. General life is what is put into our knapsack.

I first learned this concept from the book Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend. Here is a quote from the book:

“The Greek words for burden and load give us insight into the meaning of these texts. The Greek word for burden means “excess burdens,” or burdens that are so heavy that they weigh us down. These burdens are like boulders. They can crush us. We shouldn’t be expected to carry a boulder by ourselves! It would break our backs. We need help with the boulders – those times of crisis and tragedy in our lives.
In contrast, the Greek word for load means “cargo,” or “the burden of daily toil.” This word describes the everyday things we all need to do. These loads are like knapsacks. Knapsacks are possible to carry. We are expected to carry our own. We are expected to deal with our feelings, attitudes, and behaviors, as well as the responsibilities God has given to each one of us, even though it takes effort.
Problems arise when people act as if their “boulders” are daily loads, and refuse help, or as if their “daily loads” are boulders they shouldn’t have to carry. The results of these two instances are either perpetual pain or irresponsibility.” (Cloud)

pic credit travel-ticker.com 

We must learn to carry our own knapsacks and the excellent wife does this and does it well. In doing so, she is taking responsibility for herself, her family, her actions, her work, and her daily tasks.

I read in one commentary that “This woman is not a doormat, slavishly trying to appease and please her family, no matter how unreasonable their demands. She is honored in her home. Here we gain an insight into the character of her husband as well. He teaches their children to respect her and the virtues she personifies.” (Price)


I’ve heard women who aren’t Christians to say that women aren’t respected in the bible. These comments are from women who are feminists in every sense of the word. They’ve obviously not read the bible, in my opinion. I’ve heard these women say that women had no rights and weren't treated well. I think it’s important to understand the context of this day in time. Women weren’t held in the same regard socially and politically like they are today. The social status of women were different than they are now. In addition to many scriptures where Jesus loves the women during this day.. I love to look in the Old Testament and see that this excellent wife is loved, respected, highly regarded, and honored in her home!

From The Heart of the Home

We as women all want to be honored and held in high esteem within our homes and among our families. I love that we can learn how to be honorable from this beautiful woman. Let me say that this doesn't mean we have to attain perfection. There is no such thing. Beauty comes from our relationship with Jesus and that's what my next post will be about!  For now, let's ponder on this idea of being an honorable woman!

The Dignified Woman

This is one of my favorite verses. In fact, it’s probably considered a life verse for me. At a time in my life when I felt so unworthy and useless. I didn’t feel like I was good at anything and I felt like a very stupid person. The Lord began revealing scriptures to me about who He thought I was and who He created me to be. I reflect on this time as the beginning of my insatiable hunger for God's word.  I read “So Long, Insecurity” by Beth Moore and so began my journey to finding self-worth. It is such a great book filled with many truths of who God says we are. One of the verses she brought to life was this verse.

When we feel unloved, unworthy, useless, ugly, or stupid… then we can know... whole-heartedly and without a shadow of doubt that the Father has clothed us with strength and dignity. He has given us the strength we need to keep going through difficult times. To put our faith in Him to uphold us while we feel weak. He has clothed us with dignity… we aren’t stupid or useless.

We are daughters of the King and He upholds us with grace and beautiful character. In His eyes, as His child, He clothes us with strength and dignity. This means we are clothed with moral character. Another way of translating these words would be that we are clothed with vigor and honor.

Vigor is to have mental and/or physical strength. To put forth effort and enthusiasm. Honor is to mean we have great respect and esteem. To be held in a place of honor. This is how the Father looks at us!

And because of the confidence instilled in her by God, then she is confident in facing the futures of tomorrow. She is not boasting, but rather this refers also to her preparing for the future.

Are you a dignified woman? Do you believe that you are who God says you are? Oh Sister.... you are so loved by our Heavenly Father! I pray you realize how He sees you and that one day you'll wake up and see yourself as a dignified woman of the King!

The Independent Woman

22 

Proverbs 31:22-25

She makes coverings for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.

24 

25 

We are reminded she is royalty she is using the finest linens and purple to dress herself. I know that sometimes we are tired, as women. We work hard, we have a family, and sometimes it’s just getting through the day that we strive for. However, I think that it’s important for us to dress appropriately. I think we can look presentable without spending a fortune or wearing things that are super dressy. The way we dress reflects who we are, it reflects on our husbands, and it shows what sort of person we are. I am not saying it's okay to judge an unkept person and fault them for not being perfect. I am stating the fact that the way we present ourselves represents our families. This Proverbs 31 woman is someone who presents herself in the best light possible in order to bring honor to her husband and her family. 

Her husband is respected at the city gate. City gates were the social and economic hub of the city. The elders were the leaders responsible for legal rulings. The husband of the “excellent wife” was known and respected among the leaders of the town. Job describes how he was respected by all at the city gate before his suffering (Job 29:7–11).[1]

During this day it also means he’s at work all day. He cannot be reached by text, phone call, or email. Even to send a messenger may have been a difficult task. So this meant that our lovely lady is making decisions for her home that best benefit her family. She isn’t relying on his opinion to sway her or choose for her. She is choosing the best option and he trusts that she will make good decisions for their home. I think there are many decisions that husband and wife should make together. I believe that men are the heads of the household and should be consulted in big decisions.

photo credit: quotesgram.com

However, there are many things that we as women can do to help take the burden off of the men in our lives and decide for ourselves. I am really bad about asking The Hubs what he thinks I should make for dinner. He has a lot of decisions he’s already making and truly, the last thing on his mind is what he *wants* to eat. Let’s face it… he doesn’t really care what I make for dinner! He is gracious in that he is happy if I just make a peanut butter & jelly sandwich just as well as he’s happy with a big sirloin steak. I know that I can personally learn from this woman how making small decisions and making household choices lends itself to serve our husbands and our families well.

We also learn that her productivity is so much so that she even brings sashes to the merchants. When she isn’t taking care of her family physically, then she is helping to take care of them financially. I also gather from verse 25 that she is a giver. Maybe the merchants are rich and maybe they’re poor. Either way, we know that her heart is gracious in wanting to give to others for the sole reason that she is able to, therefore she does.

I love her independence and I love her giving heart! Are there areas in your life that you can work to be more independent or use your gifts to give to others in need?

^[1] Barry, J. D., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Mangum, D., & Whitehead, M. M. (2012). Faithlife Study Bible (Pr 31:23). Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software.