Unafflicted

My current Bible Study I'm doing is Beth Moore's Children of the Day. It's a study through 1 & 2 Thessalonians with Paul on his missionary journey. I'm only 1/3 of the way through, but it is a great lesson! I love doing Bible studies to learn more about the Bible. Digging deeper into God's word so I can learn more about Him! I've done several along with Beth Moore & Priscilla Shirer at this point and I've done some on my own. Unfortunately, time constraints don't allow me to do as many on my own these days as I wish. This season of my life is a bit hectic and that's okay. I love that God gives me these women to do studies with alongside the other women in my bible study group!

I must share that one of my favorite things about studying the Bible is seeing God's work all come together. A moment when you can see His abundance weaving through each part of the tapestry in His word! My lesson this morning interweaved with 2 past studies and I must share! It's a great word!

1 Thessalonians 3:1-4

Therefore when we could bear it no longer, we were willing to be left behind at Athens alone, 2 and we sent Timothy, our brother and God's coworker1 in the gospel of Christ, to establish and exhort you in your faith, 3 that no one be moved by these afflictions. For you yourselves know that we are destined for this. 4 For when we were with you, we kept telling you beforehand that we were to suffer affliction, just as it has come to pass, and just as you know.

the HCSB version says (in v. 3) 3 so that no one will be shaken by these persecutions. 

Affliction in the greek translates to Thlìpsis - figuratively to oppress with evil, afflict, distress. (Zodhiates, Dictionary, s.v.). 

Afflictions come from satan. They are meant to torment us, oppress us, and bring harm to us. 

Verse 4 says, however, the people had been warned beforehand that they would suffer. Knowing that they were told of such things gave them the opportunity to plant their feet. Be on guard. To stand firmly against any strikes the enemy might throw at us.

Ephesians 6:13-14  Reminds us to stand firmly against the enemy while putting on God's armor. We don't have to fight. We just have to put on God's armor. I actually did a blogpost earlier this year on standing firm with the armor of God - here.

Exodus 14:13  commands us to stand firm and see the Lord's salvation. Verse 14 goes on to remind us once we stand firm, then the Lord will fight for us!

So we can remember we don't have to fight against the oppression, affliction, and distress that satan tries to afflict us with! The LORD will fight for us!! All we have to do is stand firm. Be prepared.. with our armor! Then, when the Author of Lies tries to afflict us we won't be shaken!

It's a choice, really. Satan will attempt to afflict us. We have been warned of such in the Bible. I am warning you now. He *will* attempt to afflict you! We can choose to be afflicted or to stand firm. We can choose to be shaken or to stand still. 

What will you do? Will you let the Lord fight for you? 

Growth in Marriage

I was 17 when I met my husband, Andy. It was at a time in my life that I wrestled with who I was. I didn't feel beautiful. I didn't feel worthy of love. I didn't feel like anyone even liked me. Then, this man came into my life and treasured me.. truly treasured me. He showed me the absolute love of Jesus and there were many times I was very undeserving it too. As soon as we met, then we truly knew that the Lord had brought us together for marriage.

The Lord spoke to me as a young girl and told me that I would be married young. He shared with me that my husband would have brown hair and blue eyes and that he would be in ministry. I knew early in my life that I would be a "Pastor's Wife" and I looked forward to those duties. So I never dated any boys who didn't have brown hair and blue eyes and they had to truly love Jesus. I only dated one boy who didn't have the call of ministry (in some capacity) on his heart. It's funny as I think about that now. I reflect on those things now and am glad I had those priorities in my life. I wasn't the type of girl who desired to date around anyways, but I think being picky in this way definitely kept me from straying to the wrong type of boy throughout my school years.

So I met Andy who had brown hair, blue eyes, and was finishing his degree in biblical studies in order to fulfill a call of ministry in his life. I knew the Lord brought us together to be eachother's help mates. So, we married 10 short months after we met.

I have told people often that Andy rescued me. No doubt it was God's way of lifting me up out of the miry clay I was drowning in. My family life felt devastating. Life with my mother felt unwelcome. We fought often when I was home from college. She told me how I should & should not feel about everything. If I disagreed with her then I was told how wrong, ridiculous, or silly I was being. Or the biggest crusher? How un-christian I was. I was told often how I should be on anti-depressants so I would be more pleasant to be around. The truth is, I was fighting for me. For who I was and wanted to be. My Father had disowned me at this time. Threatening to take me out of his will as one of his children. I felt very abandoned by him. However, the Lord had brought Andy to me during these tumultuous days.... It was obvious, in my mind, God sent Him to rescue me.

Our first months together (I must add we didn't really know eachother, ha!) were wonderful. Filled with figuring eachother out & learning who each of us was together. However, the next few months were harder. I wanted Andy to identify who I was and love me too. I wanted Andy to fulfill the brokenness I felt within my soul. I expected him to never make me angry or hurt me as I had felt so damaged by anger & hurtfulness in the years prior to meeting him. Andy was patient with me and full of grace for my shortcomings, but after a point he began to resent my difficult personality.

God was so gracious to orchestrate many things in my life that ultimately led to redemption for me and our marriage. He put a friend in my path who bravely and lovingly pointed out to me what a terrible wife I was being. Yes, that sounds harsh, and yes it wasn't easy to hear! Was it the truth? Sadly, it absolutely was! God began convicting me of my ungrateful & unthankful heart. I was a complainer. I had difficulty finding good in anything. I sought out the negative and never looked for blessings. So, I began practicing only thankfulness. If I felt negative towards something, then I began to hold it in and just tell God about it and never voiced it to Andy (or others).

Several years passed. Through many convictions & prayers our marriage was better. I was still having many dark days though and I sought out Christian counsel for myself. My counselor helped me to further investigate who I am in Christ! My husband couldn't identify me or fulfill me. Only the cross of Jesus Christ was equipped to handle those uncertainties in my life. So I began running to Jesus and asking Him to reveal to me who I was. So He did! As I ran to Jesus to discover who I was in Him, then Andy and I began growing closer. Our marriage began to strengthen and we began to do marriage, parenthood, and life together instead of Andy having to usher me & hold me up through our married life.

Our marriage of 12 years is truly one of redemption and I am so thankful that Andy didn't give up on me. I am grateful that I didn't give up on me. I am overwhelmed that God didn't give up on me. Ladies, let me encourage you that no man can heal your brokenness or repair the damage you have felt in your life. Only Christ can do this for you! I have been one blessed lady to have a man like Andy who didn't leave me destitute in my brokenness. He saw me through it all and waited on the Lord to work in my life. However, I am sure that he would tell you it wasn't easy and I have no doubt that he felt like giving up on me often. Praise God he didn't!! I can assure you the redemption of our marriage has been sweet. We are truly so blessed to have eachother. Although, we walked through many difficult years we still have some hard days every now & then. However, we stay committed & loyal to eachother. We love doing life together and are truly more in love today than we were in the beginning when we were so young & in love.

12 years of marriage together

Seek the Lord, sweet Sisters, to repair the heartaches in your life. He loves you and desires for you to have full & complete freedom! While I'm not opposed to medications when they are needed.. I also know the power of counseling and how working through the sins in your life (both sins you've committed and sins done to you) can redeem you from depression. Isaiah 49:16 "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;    your walls are ever before me." The Lord holds you in His hands and He longs to redeem you, heal you... FREE you! 

Micah 7:18 "Who is a God like you,    who pardons sin and forgives the transgression    of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever  but delight to show mercy."

Run to the Father, sweet sister! Find your joy & completeness in Him and Him alone!! "He would have to be less God to love us less... It's impossible. He is the initiator of our love! The source is Him. If we love Him it's because He loved us first" (Beth Moore) 1 John 5:14-15 " This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."

Are You On Guard?

As I got out of bed in the middle of the night a few nights ago, then our dog got up with me. She walked around our bedroom and then went and laid back down in her bed. It dawned on me, every time I get up in the middle of the night whether to go to the bathroom, to calm a crying child, or whatever the case may be.. then our sweet Cassie gets up with me. She's even been known to alert me when a child wakes up crying and I haven't woken up enough to hear them yet. She is always on guard.


Then I thought, no wonder she (or really any other "guard" dog) sleeps all day. She never fully sleeps through the night, because she is always on guard. Next, a couple other thoughts came to my mind. Yes, it was still the middle of the night, ha!


1. How often do we feel that we have to be on guard? How often do we feel that we have to get up and fix things, check on things, and be in control of all situations? Do we trust the Father? Do we trust that God has our best interest at heart and we can rest in Him knowing that He has got everything planned out for us? He has control over what will happen in our lives. He will go before us... provide for us and prepare the way for us. So, do we trust Him? Or are you constantly getting up and trying to figure out what's happening next? Do you walk around aimlessly seeking out what your next move shall be? Do you do this to the point that you're consistently left defeated and exhausted from all that this world offers?



2. My next thought was the flip side of this. Satan roams around this earth looking for whom he can devour next. Are we on guard? We fight against the principalities of this world and there is so much darkness surrounding us. If we don't keep ourselves on guard against the enemy, then he can so easily steal our joy. We can so easily buy into the lies that he offers: you aren't good enough, you aren't pretty enough, you aren't worth enough. That is not who God says we, as believers, are though! The Bible tells us to be on guard against evil. So be your own guard dog and guard your thoughts and your heart against the wickedness of this world and don't believe the father of lies when he speaks fiction over you.


So what category do you fall under? I think we need to have a balance in our lives. It's not easy and I've been guilty of falling into both of these traps. Let's see what God's word says about this.


Exodus 23:20 See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared.

Matthew 11:10 I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way before you.

Genesis 50:21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 22:8 "He trusts in the Lord,” they say, “let the Lord rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him

Likewise..

1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.

Ephesians 6:11-12 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

John 8:44 He [satan] was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.


What does the Bible say about who I am?

John 15:15 I no longer call you slaves, because the slave does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have revealed to you everything I heard from my Father

Romans 3:24 But they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus

Proverbs 31:25 You are clothed with strength and dignity.

Isaiah 61:10 I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.


Ephesians 1:7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace


So let's gather together and trust that the Lord, the Ancient of Days, will not forsake us and He is our deliverer and we can trust that He will work all things out for us, but let us also be on guard against the evil of this world while also not believing that which satan means for our harm.

Isaiah 46:9-10 Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose."

Killer words

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

This is one of my favorite verses. One I pray often with our children as much as for myself. 

Many years ago, the words of my mouth used to be everything except pleasing to the Lord. Sarcasm dripped from my mouth like bitter molasses. Strong, slow, and purposeful. I was full of contention and complaint. You know the verse in the Bible that to live on the corner of a roof is better than to live inside a home with a contentious woman? That was me... I was that woman. It's shocking that my marriage survived the many years that antagonism plagued me. Complaint was readily upon my lips. 

Sarcasm is easily spoken to someone [you love] and then tauntingly pulled back by saying, "I was only joking!" As in.. it's your problem for taking offense to that, because it was just a joke! All the while... there's always truth in that sarcastic joke. I used to be so very sarcastic in cutting down my husband's personhood. Who he was and what he was about. Emasculating him in a major way and making him feel like he wasn't good enough. What husband wants to be with a wife like that? What husband could look forward to providing for and coming home to a woman like that?

It's not easy for me to admit these things openly. However, I share them with great confidence in the redeeming power of our God, because I am not that woman anymore! 

I loved finding fault in others and while much of this is something I was taught to do... I also have to take responsibility for my own actions. I was wrapped up in a world of gossip and found fault with everyone for the smallest of infractions. I had no grace for other people and was so bitter in my own life.  

I would love to tell you there was a turning point in my life that made me realize how wrong I was. Unfortunately, I cannot do that. It was only by the grace of God I started realizing that everything I had to say was negative. My husband pointed it out to me a few times too. I finally reached a point in my life that I decided to start looking for good! It took much prayer, but no matter how annoyed I was I chose not to voice it. I chose to keep it to myself and pray about it. I chose to start finding anything good I could think of from every annoyance that surrounded me.

Laundry keeps piling up --> Atleast we have clothes to wear
My husband snores --> Atleast I know he's breathing
The waitress was rude --> Maybe she just got some really bad news and is scared
That car is in my way --> Maybe the Lord is keeping me from a wreck up ahead
Our kids aren't listening to me --> Atleast I have children who are healthy & well

Do you see? Even though life annoyances are real and true... I can have understanding for those hardships while still finding a positive about them. I am not at all saying this is easy. Especially in the beginning. I *am* saying it's possible to do!!

Now, so many years later... I no longer complain about the small annoyances of life. I do not find myself looking for fault in others. Sarcasm no longer drips from my words and contention is far from my being. In Psalm 19:14 it says, "My rock and my Redeemer" because God can transplant us from the sin we are in and set us up on solid rock, a firm foundation! Redeemer is the Hebrew word goel and means kinsman-redeemer. A kinsman redeemer buys their relative out of slavery when the "slave" cannot pay for himself. He rescues him from total loss and ruin. King David (who wrote this Psalm) looked to God as his Kinsman-Redeemer. 

I also know that God redeemed me from the sins of my mouth and the meditations of my prideful heart. In doing so, it truly saved my marriage! It is only through knowing that God can redeem you of your sin that you can relinquish these sins unto Him. If you are not true to yourself about what sin you're in or you choose to ignore the fact that your words aren't pleasing to Him and the people surrounding you, then there's no hope for Him to redeem your words & thoughts. We must be real and open ourselves up to the fact that the words of our mouth are as deadly and as sinful as a loaded weapon. 

So what will you choose? Will you choose for your words and thoughts to be redeemed and therefore pleasing to the Lord or will you once again load your weapon and aim for the one who is closest in your path? Your child? Your spouse? Your coworker? 

Start looking for the beauty among the ashes and finding gratitude in the mundane...

Let the Lord be your Kinsman-Redeemer too! Let Him set you free from killer statements & thoughts!

Celebrating Deliverance

I have been pretty candid on my blog so far about having to walk away from mentally & emotionally abusive relationships and the fear that is still a stronghold (although it's thankfully dwindling) in my life. However, as I am wrapping up my bible study on the book of Esther with Beth Moore the Lord continues to reveal to me that He holds me in His hands. I am excited to tell you, Friend... He holds you too!!

Please allow me to share a few things I've learned over the last few days that are cultivating my continued healing.

Esther 9:19 tells us of the new appointed holiday that the Jews will annually celebrate. This is because they are free from the decree that was put on them by Haman to annihilate and destroy all of them. They decided to celebrate... they chose joy!! Beth Moore states, "Because Christ has overcome sin and the grave, any day can be a day of joy, but can you imagine the impact of becoming deliberate about it?"

Feast of Purim

So on this special day they give presents and special food to each other along with throwing feasts & banquets. In the passage, you'll see the word gift or present.Those words can mean gift of food or even something more than food. Let me dig deeper and tie this together for you with more scripture! Psalm 16:5-6 says "you make my 'lot' secure" and in Esther 3:7 the word "lot" is also used when Haman threw lots to see what day the Jews' slaughter would be held.
The word "lot" here is the SAME Hebrew word as gift! The 3 words favor, portions (aka presents), and lots are interlaced. Beth declares, "No matter what life - or Satan himself - hands us, the favor God has on His children causes that "lot" to tumble out on the table in such a way that, instead of destruction the child will discover that her portion is turned into destiny one trusting step at a time. When all is said and done, she will see that the portion God assigned her was good. Right. Rich. Full of purpose."

Psalm 16:5 ESV "The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot." This verse really spoke to me!

I have seen the goodness of my God! He has rescued me from my enemies. The day we can realize this... that God has the best plans for us when we follow Him, then we will have "a day of joy and feasting, a day for giving presents to eachother" (Esther 9:19, NIV)

Beth Moore states, "We glorify God when we celebrate our deliverance."

So I continue to share with you reflections of my redemption. As raw as it is,as painful as it's been, and as victorious as I stand. This blog is not about me. It's about my deliverance.... and that's about Jesus! So when I celebrate my deliverance by sharing my story with you (God called me to do so), then I am glorifying God! "God gave His one and only Son as His portion and we who receive Him have the joy of giving to others out of that lavish portion." - Beth

So, let me leave you with one last set of verses. Here is the original verse: Psalm 30:1-3,11-12 and here for you is my version and the account of my deliverance.

I will exalt You, O Lord, for You are my Redeemer and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to You for help and You rescued me.

O Lord, You brought me up from the grave; you spared me from mental abuse, the perfection I once sought, and the hopelessness I once felt.

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with righteousness, joy, kindness, gladness, hope, love, peace, and grace that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you praise forever!!