The Beautiful Woman

Life has been a bit crazy lately, so I apologize for just now getting back to finishing up our Proverbs 31 study! This study has been such a blessing to my life and I hope and pray it's blessed you too!

Proverbs 31:30-31

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The Hebrew word for fleeting here means “breath” or “vapor”. We can truly understand how fleeting beauty is when we know that the meaning of it is just a breath or just a vapor of time.

Lately I’ve been seeing Hollywood actors portrayed in online articles about botched plastic surgery or who went too far in their surgery attempts, etc. I read through these and truthfully.. it breaks my heart. These actors aren’t allowed to age in their profession. They’re not allowed to be real people with real faces and real bodies. I’m not against plastic surgery, honestly. I don’t have a problem with it and I don’t think it’s sinful or wrong. However, I think the heart behind it can be sinful. I think when we become obsessed to be something we aren’t, then there’s a sin issue. I think when we look at ourselves and pick ourselves apart because we aren’t beautiful enough and yet, we are made in the image of God, then I think there’s a sin issue. It’s my opinion that when enough is never enough… Just one more surgery, just a few more pounds lost or gained, just a few more things, etc. When we are never satisfied with who we are, what we have, and what we’ve been given.. then there is a sin issue. A heart issue. An issue that we need to take to the cross of Jesus and lay at His feet to find healing and restoration from Him. To find redemption in who He created us to be! 

photo credit www.enchantingquotes.com

As the Proverbs reveal to us... charm is deceiving. Beauty is fleeting… it's just a vapor. It comes and then it can just as easily go. But a woman who fears the Lord… she will be praised. She will be blessed. Isaiah 60:1 says, “Arise, Jerusalem! Let your light shine for all to see. For the glory of the LORD rises to shine on you.” One of the most beautiful things we can understand about the Excellent Wife is that above all things regarding her appearance, she fears the Lord! She is concerned about what God thinks about her more than what others think about her. Her priorities are according to what God has called her to do.. not the expectation of others. She fears the Lord and because of this, 

then she is praised, admired, and honored by her family. Because of her fear of the Lord.. He rises up and His beauty shines upon her!

She is woman who is honored at the city gate. Women weren’t often recognized at the city gate, but an extraordinary woman definitely deserved extraordinary recognition. We can find so many wonderful assets & virtues about this woman and we can all hope that through prayer and growing closer to the Lord that we, too, can be an Excellent Wife (or for the unmarried... an Excellent Woman!)

What was your favorite part of learning about the Excellent Wife?

The Dignified Woman

This is one of my favorite verses. In fact, it’s probably considered a life verse for me. At a time in my life when I felt so unworthy and useless. I didn’t feel like I was good at anything and I felt like a very stupid person. The Lord began revealing scriptures to me about who He thought I was and who He created me to be. I reflect on this time as the beginning of my insatiable hunger for God's word.  I read “So Long, Insecurity” by Beth Moore and so began my journey to finding self-worth. It is such a great book filled with many truths of who God says we are. One of the verses she brought to life was this verse.

When we feel unloved, unworthy, useless, ugly, or stupid… then we can know... whole-heartedly and without a shadow of doubt that the Father has clothed us with strength and dignity. He has given us the strength we need to keep going through difficult times. To put our faith in Him to uphold us while we feel weak. He has clothed us with dignity… we aren’t stupid or useless.

We are daughters of the King and He upholds us with grace and beautiful character. In His eyes, as His child, He clothes us with strength and dignity. This means we are clothed with moral character. Another way of translating these words would be that we are clothed with vigor and honor.

Vigor is to have mental and/or physical strength. To put forth effort and enthusiasm. Honor is to mean we have great respect and esteem. To be held in a place of honor. This is how the Father looks at us!

And because of the confidence instilled in her by God, then she is confident in facing the futures of tomorrow. She is not boasting, but rather this refers also to her preparing for the future.

Are you a dignified woman? Do you believe that you are who God says you are? Oh Sister.... you are so loved by our Heavenly Father! I pray you realize how He sees you and that one day you'll wake up and see yourself as a dignified woman of the King!

The Helpful Woman

I promised to share my study of Proverbs 31 woman when I wrote my last blog posting, An Excellent Wife?! So here I will began posting my studies. I have learned so much and truly enjoyed learning more about this Excellent Wife. She's not just a wife though.. she is every woman! As we draw closer to God, then we can become excellent women. I hope you can learn some things about her like I did! Finding wisdom in her testimony and the understanding of this woman, in her day, will hopefully bless you like it did me!

Photo Credit: http://faraboverubies-3110.blogspot.com/

Here's some background about this chapter:

Proverbs 31 was written to King Lemuel from his mother. Lemuel means “belonging to God” and this is the only mention of King Lemuel in the Bible that we know of.

Interesting note: These last verses of Prov. 31 is an acrostic poem.

Psalms that follow an acrostic pattern begin each line with a consecutive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Since the Hebrew alphabet contains 22 letters, psalms written with this structure demonstrate great skill on the part of the psalmist: acrostic psalms must both say something meaningful as well as conform to the sequence of the alphabet.

Psalm 111 is a complete acrostic psalm & Psalm 119 is perhaps the most recognizable acrostic psalm. It consists of 22 stanzas of eight verses, each set of which begin with the same letter of the Hebrew alphabet.

It is not clear if acrostic patterns were used for any reason other their aesthetic value. It is possible they were used to aid memorization. This may be true especially in shorter acrostics like Psalms 111. It is also possible they are meant to portray comprehensiveness (i.e., everything from A to Z). For example, the acrostic in Psalm 119 seems to represent a comprehensive statement about responding to God and His Law. [1]

Let's begin with Proverbs 31:10-12

The wife of noble character is also spoken of in 12:4. Ruth was referred to as being noble in Ruth 3:11. Noble can also be translated as “capable”. In Exodus 18 when Moses appointed different men to be over groups of hundreds, fifties, tens, etc. then God told him to find capable men for this position. Capable means to fear God and be honest & trustworthy. Noble also translates to mean a virtuous woman with moral integrity, strength, and courage.

Capable and noble men and women are rare to find. That’s why the Psalmist is asking us “who can find one?” Not because it’s impossible, but because someone with this type of character is rare.

photo credit: www.parents.com

In verses 11, 23, & 28 her husband is mentioned. This is a total of 3 times and is also mentioned in verse 12 as “him”. He relies on her and her household management skills. Because of her skill then it enhances his wealth. This makes me think of a woman who is frugal and doesn’t waste money. She stretches her dollars. Maybe she coupons. Maybe she finds good deals when shopping. Maybe she knows how to bargain with sales people. Maybe she is patient to wait til something is on sale before she buys it. Maybe she sews her own clothing or that of her children? Maybe she works to help provide income while also managing the household. There are many ways for a woman to contribute to a man’s wealth. The noble wife will do what she needs to do to be a blessing and contribute to the family income! She longs to be helpful and not a burden to their financial budget.

As verse 12 elaborates.. she is an asset to him. She helps him, supports him, and encourages him! She does not encumber him. She is faithful to help him all of her life. The good that comes to him is directly because of the help his wife offers him! This makes me think of the old saying, “Behind every good man is a woman.” Not from the feminist standpoint.. this phrase actually can be traced back before the 1940’s.. before the feminist movement. I think of it from the standpoint that it is the love, support, encouragement, and help mate of a wife who helps to make her husband successful & great!

I personally like to coupon and look for good deals or shop clearance sales! I am also never afraid to ask for a discount!! (Honestly, asking is the hardest part.. I can nearly always get a discount just because I ask for one!) 

What about you? What are some ways you enjoy  contributing to your household?

Go to verses 13-15 

The Planning Woman

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^[1] Barry, J. D., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Mangum, D., & Whitehead, M. M. (2012). Faithlife Study Bible. Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software.

Growth in Marriage

I was 17 when I met my husband, Andy. It was at a time in my life that I wrestled with who I was. I didn't feel beautiful. I didn't feel worthy of love. I didn't feel like anyone even liked me. Then, this man came into my life and treasured me.. truly treasured me. He showed me the absolute love of Jesus and there were many times I was very undeserving it too. As soon as we met, then we truly knew that the Lord had brought us together for marriage.

The Lord spoke to me as a young girl and told me that I would be married young. He shared with me that my husband would have brown hair and blue eyes and that he would be in ministry. I knew early in my life that I would be a "Pastor's Wife" and I looked forward to those duties. So I never dated any boys who didn't have brown hair and blue eyes and they had to truly love Jesus. I only dated one boy who didn't have the call of ministry (in some capacity) on his heart. It's funny as I think about that now. I reflect on those things now and am glad I had those priorities in my life. I wasn't the type of girl who desired to date around anyways, but I think being picky in this way definitely kept me from straying to the wrong type of boy throughout my school years.

So I met Andy who had brown hair, blue eyes, and was finishing his degree in biblical studies in order to fulfill a call of ministry in his life. I knew the Lord brought us together to be eachother's help mates. So, we married 10 short months after we met.

I have told people often that Andy rescued me. No doubt it was God's way of lifting me up out of the miry clay I was drowning in. My family life felt devastating. Life with my mother felt unwelcome. We fought often when I was home from college. She told me how I should & should not feel about everything. If I disagreed with her then I was told how wrong, ridiculous, or silly I was being. Or the biggest crusher? How un-christian I was. I was told often how I should be on anti-depressants so I would be more pleasant to be around. The truth is, I was fighting for me. For who I was and wanted to be. My Father had disowned me at this time. Threatening to take me out of his will as one of his children. I felt very abandoned by him. However, the Lord had brought Andy to me during these tumultuous days.... It was obvious, in my mind, God sent Him to rescue me.

Our first months together (I must add we didn't really know eachother, ha!) were wonderful. Filled with figuring eachother out & learning who each of us was together. However, the next few months were harder. I wanted Andy to identify who I was and love me too. I wanted Andy to fulfill the brokenness I felt within my soul. I expected him to never make me angry or hurt me as I had felt so damaged by anger & hurtfulness in the years prior to meeting him. Andy was patient with me and full of grace for my shortcomings, but after a point he began to resent my difficult personality.

God was so gracious to orchestrate many things in my life that ultimately led to redemption for me and our marriage. He put a friend in my path who bravely and lovingly pointed out to me what a terrible wife I was being. Yes, that sounds harsh, and yes it wasn't easy to hear! Was it the truth? Sadly, it absolutely was! God began convicting me of my ungrateful & unthankful heart. I was a complainer. I had difficulty finding good in anything. I sought out the negative and never looked for blessings. So, I began practicing only thankfulness. If I felt negative towards something, then I began to hold it in and just tell God about it and never voiced it to Andy (or others).

Several years passed. Through many convictions & prayers our marriage was better. I was still having many dark days though and I sought out Christian counsel for myself. My counselor helped me to further investigate who I am in Christ! My husband couldn't identify me or fulfill me. Only the cross of Jesus Christ was equipped to handle those uncertainties in my life. So I began running to Jesus and asking Him to reveal to me who I was. So He did! As I ran to Jesus to discover who I was in Him, then Andy and I began growing closer. Our marriage began to strengthen and we began to do marriage, parenthood, and life together instead of Andy having to usher me & hold me up through our married life.

Our marriage of 12 years is truly one of redemption and I am so thankful that Andy didn't give up on me. I am grateful that I didn't give up on me. I am overwhelmed that God didn't give up on me. Ladies, let me encourage you that no man can heal your brokenness or repair the damage you have felt in your life. Only Christ can do this for you! I have been one blessed lady to have a man like Andy who didn't leave me destitute in my brokenness. He saw me through it all and waited on the Lord to work in my life. However, I am sure that he would tell you it wasn't easy and I have no doubt that he felt like giving up on me often. Praise God he didn't!! I can assure you the redemption of our marriage has been sweet. We are truly so blessed to have eachother. Although, we walked through many difficult years we still have some hard days every now & then. However, we stay committed & loyal to eachother. We love doing life together and are truly more in love today than we were in the beginning when we were so young & in love.

12 years of marriage together

Seek the Lord, sweet Sisters, to repair the heartaches in your life. He loves you and desires for you to have full & complete freedom! While I'm not opposed to medications when they are needed.. I also know the power of counseling and how working through the sins in your life (both sins you've committed and sins done to you) can redeem you from depression. Isaiah 49:16 "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;    your walls are ever before me." The Lord holds you in His hands and He longs to redeem you, heal you... FREE you! 

Micah 7:18 "Who is a God like you,    who pardons sin and forgives the transgression    of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever  but delight to show mercy."

Run to the Father, sweet sister! Find your joy & completeness in Him and Him alone!! "He would have to be less God to love us less... It's impossible. He is the initiator of our love! The source is Him. If we love Him it's because He loved us first" (Beth Moore) 1 John 5:14-15 " This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."