Killer words

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

This is one of my favorite verses. One I pray often with our children as much as for myself. 

Many years ago, the words of my mouth used to be everything except pleasing to the Lord. Sarcasm dripped from my mouth like bitter molasses. Strong, slow, and purposeful. I was full of contention and complaint. You know the verse in the Bible that to live on the corner of a roof is better than to live inside a home with a contentious woman? That was me... I was that woman. It's shocking that my marriage survived the many years that antagonism plagued me. Complaint was readily upon my lips. 

Sarcasm is easily spoken to someone [you love] and then tauntingly pulled back by saying, "I was only joking!" As in.. it's your problem for taking offense to that, because it was just a joke! All the while... there's always truth in that sarcastic joke. I used to be so very sarcastic in cutting down my husband's personhood. Who he was and what he was about. Emasculating him in a major way and making him feel like he wasn't good enough. What husband wants to be with a wife like that? What husband could look forward to providing for and coming home to a woman like that?

It's not easy for me to admit these things openly. However, I share them with great confidence in the redeeming power of our God, because I am not that woman anymore! 

I loved finding fault in others and while much of this is something I was taught to do... I also have to take responsibility for my own actions. I was wrapped up in a world of gossip and found fault with everyone for the smallest of infractions. I had no grace for other people and was so bitter in my own life.  

I would love to tell you there was a turning point in my life that made me realize how wrong I was. Unfortunately, I cannot do that. It was only by the grace of God I started realizing that everything I had to say was negative. My husband pointed it out to me a few times too. I finally reached a point in my life that I decided to start looking for good! It took much prayer, but no matter how annoyed I was I chose not to voice it. I chose to keep it to myself and pray about it. I chose to start finding anything good I could think of from every annoyance that surrounded me.

Laundry keeps piling up --> Atleast we have clothes to wear
My husband snores --> Atleast I know he's breathing
The waitress was rude --> Maybe she just got some really bad news and is scared
That car is in my way --> Maybe the Lord is keeping me from a wreck up ahead
Our kids aren't listening to me --> Atleast I have children who are healthy & well

Do you see? Even though life annoyances are real and true... I can have understanding for those hardships while still finding a positive about them. I am not at all saying this is easy. Especially in the beginning. I *am* saying it's possible to do!!

Now, so many years later... I no longer complain about the small annoyances of life. I do not find myself looking for fault in others. Sarcasm no longer drips from my words and contention is far from my being. In Psalm 19:14 it says, "My rock and my Redeemer" because God can transplant us from the sin we are in and set us up on solid rock, a firm foundation! Redeemer is the Hebrew word goel and means kinsman-redeemer. A kinsman redeemer buys their relative out of slavery when the "slave" cannot pay for himself. He rescues him from total loss and ruin. King David (who wrote this Psalm) looked to God as his Kinsman-Redeemer. 

I also know that God redeemed me from the sins of my mouth and the meditations of my prideful heart. In doing so, it truly saved my marriage! It is only through knowing that God can redeem you of your sin that you can relinquish these sins unto Him. If you are not true to yourself about what sin you're in or you choose to ignore the fact that your words aren't pleasing to Him and the people surrounding you, then there's no hope for Him to redeem your words & thoughts. We must be real and open ourselves up to the fact that the words of our mouth are as deadly and as sinful as a loaded weapon. 

So what will you choose? Will you choose for your words and thoughts to be redeemed and therefore pleasing to the Lord or will you once again load your weapon and aim for the one who is closest in your path? Your child? Your spouse? Your coworker? 

Start looking for the beauty among the ashes and finding gratitude in the mundane...

Let the Lord be your Kinsman-Redeemer too! Let Him set you free from killer statements & thoughts!

Loving God with our Mind

I had the privilege of hearing Jen Wilkins speak at a Women's Leadership Conference just a few weeks ago. I also have had the privilege of reading her book, "Women of the Word" and have been enlightened by a new concept. Loving God with your mind!

I've been deep in the word since July of this year, and I must tell you... the more I read, the hungrier for God's Word I get!  I want to know more. I want to understand more. I want to gorge on His word and digest it deep within my soul! For me, someone who felt stupid for much of my life... this is *exciting* to me!!

I have a women's breakfast coming up in a couple of days for our church and felt really compelled to share this new concept with them...loving God with your mind! So here is what I wrote. Some of it from my own studies and some of it adapted from Jen Wilkin's book.

Did you know the word disciple means “learner”? As a disciple of Christ, you and I are called to learn, and learning requires effort.

Mark 12:30 and Luke 10:27 both command us to 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

The Bible is a book that boldly and clearly reveals who God is on every page. In Genesis it does this by placing God as the subject of creation. In Exodus, it places him in comparison to Pharaoh and the gods of Egypt. In the Psalms, David extols the Lord’s power and majesty. The prophets proclaim his wrath and justice. The Gospels & Epistles unfold his character in the person and work of Christ. The book of Revelation displays his dominion over all things. From beginning to end the Bible is a book about God.

We are so often mislead into thinking the Bible is really about us though. Asking it to teach us how to live and assure us that we are loved and forgiven. We are these things!! But the purpose of the Bible isn’t just about me or written solely to help me.

We must turn around our habit of asking “Who am I?” and we must ask, “What does this teach me about God?” We must acknowledge that this book is about God before we can ask it to teach us anything about ourselves. The bible was given to us so that we can learn who God is, so that we can receive more wisdom about the truths of God, and in turn… fall more in love with Him.

When we know something, then we love that something, don’t we? When I met Andy, then I knew I loved him, but truthfully I did not *really* know Andy. We met on the internet in July. We were engaged in October and got married in June. Being in 2 different states, We saw eachother less than 10 times before we got married although we talked by phone often. Did we really know eachother? Not at all! Although we thought we did!! Now that I know him… really know him.. 12 years later, then I love him so much more today than I *thought* I loved him 13 years ago.

I also love architecture and old buildings and anything to do with history. I love the dress of the 1800’s and history of what it was like to live in the early 1900’s. I relish anything historical. I love to watch period dramas and read historical fiction. The more I learn about the hard work it takes to create architectural pieces of art, then the more I appreciate it. The more I learn about the reason for the dress of days long ago or how they lived, then I fall in love with that era even more. The more I learn, the more I love it and appreciate it. The same is true with God.

A Yale PhD professor of cognitive psychology who specializes in pleasure research who studied how humans develop the ability to derive pleasure from people, experiences, and things. He has discovered through his research that pleasure doesn’t simply occur, it develops. And how it develops is a point worth noting: “People ask me, “’How do you get more pleasure out of life?’ and my answer is extremely academic: Study more.”

Attaching our intellect to our faith doesn’t come easily though. For many of us, the strength of our faith is gauged by how we’re feeling… about a song, about a sermon, about our quiet time. However, in Romans 12:2-3 says “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” In this verse, Paul states we can have renewal, but we have to renew our mind… not our heart. 

It's a wonderful thing when our hearts overflow with affection for the Lord, but emotion alone isn't enough. John Piper rightly says, "The apex of glorifying God is enjoying him with the heart. But this is an empty emotionalism where that joy is not awakened and sustained by true views of God for who he really is." The way we know God truly in our hearts is through the right use of our minds.

As we grow in wisdom of who God is and His character through studying His Word, we cannot help but grow into a much deeper love for Him. This further explains why Romans 12:2 says we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.

1 Chronicles 28:9 “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.

David asked Solomon to serve God with both his heart and mind. Some people are all heart and no mind in their service to God; others are all mind and no heart. Both of these are important in order to truly serve Him.

The crux of it is… Bible study that equips us doesn’t divorce our heart from studying. It puts the heart in the right place: informed by the mind.

Time of New Beginnings

We moved to Northwestern Kentucky at the beginning of January from East Tennessee. I had a thriving Pampered Chef business that I had built over the last 3 years. I loved my business, my customers, and the self-worth I felt in what the Lord had given me the wisdom to build.

Growing up in a home where I experienced gaslighting (click on gaslighting to get more information on what gaslighting is) on a consistent basis I felt like I was in a constant state of confusion. Anytime I questioned my mom (as a child or an adult), stood up for myself against accusations, shared my viewpoints, etc. then I was repeatedly told, "That's not what happened and you know it." or "It's because you're so sensitive." or "That's not true." So I was left trying to figure out if what I thought was true was really true. Could it be that I was wrong about what I thought was true? I felt a little crazy.. most of the time! I would spend *days* going over conversations in my mind and trying to sort out the details so I could understand what the "truth" was. It was mentally exhausting.

Due to my "constant state of confusion" I felt truly unintelligent. I didn't feel bright at all. So for me to have built a good business from the ground up made me feel clever! It made me feel like I was capable of great things! After my shows, customers would sit around a table, eat my delicious creations, and praise my accomplishments for a great, entertaining show. They relished the food I prepared for them. I was shocked! I didn't think I could be good at anything!!

So you see, when we moved away from my thriving business I mourned the loss of what I would no longer have. I had the possibility of re-starting my business, but every time I prayed about starting a Pampered Chef business here I just didn't have any sort of peace about it. I even had shows lined up and after much, much prayer I realized the Lord didn't want me to continue on with the business I loved. Despite the fact I didn't understand this call, I obeyed.


So now, fast forward from my resignation to now, exactly 4 months. The Lord has opened up so many doors for me to be in teaching positions here! Unfortunately, none of these are paid, but it's my prayer that I am helping women grow in their relationships with Jesus and that's worth so much more than a paycheck!  I am now teaching 11 Kindergarten & 1st grade students in our homeschool co-op! This is a brand new concept for me, but I'm having so much fun with these sweet kiddos! I have been teaching a bible study with Beth Moore for about 3 months now and the blessings of this bible study has nourished my dry & weary soul in a splendid way!! Lastly, the Lord just recently opened up the opportunity for me to start a women's Sunday School class on Sunday mornings at our church! Whew.. 3 classes! I would've laughed if you told me this a year ago! It takes much time and preparation, but I am reveling in it! I am passionate about supporting women in their journey of truth about Jesus! What a blessing and an honor as He has bestowed these classes upon me!

It's interesting that when we give up the things we love... when the Lord calls us to do so... then He brings us bigger blessings more than we could expect! I look back now and all I can think is, "Okay Lord! I get it now! There's no way I could run my business, homeschool 2 kids + a toddler, be a pastor's wife, and teach 3 classes!" The latter 3 keep me busy enough!! God is good and His faithfulness endures forever!!

Isaiah 52:1-3 

"Awake, awake, O Zion, 

clothe yourself with strength. 

Put on your garments of splendor...

Shake off your dust; 

rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem, 

Free yourself from the chains on your 

neck, 

O Captive Daughter of Zion. 

For this is what the Lord says: 

'You were sold for you nothing, 

and without money you will be 

redeemed.'" 

Hallelujah and AMEN!