Redemptive Christmas

When I began my journey to wholeness many years ago I had no idea the path I would walk. I felt alone and unworthy as a person. Suicidal thoughts plagued my teenage years and often crossed my mind in my adult years. Even after I became a mother. I used to think how much easier it would be if I would just die and go to Heaven. I wondered often if anyone would even miss me. These thoughts became more prevalent in my life and it was after an ended friendship and those dark thoughts were engulfing me that I finally sought help.

It was through biblical counseling that I expected to work on my friendships & marriage, because I couldn't keep friends and my marriage felt lonely in those days. However, small truths of my childhood began creeping out. Truths like.. I didn't play much as a child. I had to be a confidant to my dad and I lived in fear of the money troubles we faced as a family. I worked diligently to keep my mother happy even though I failed often. I felt I had to take care of my sister even though she hated me and faulted me for it. It became very clear as these truths seeped out that I was in the role of parenting... and parents don't play. 

So for a couple of years I worked with my counselor diligently nurturing this little girl inside me who never got to play. So I played alot with my children. We did fun things and had fun outings. I allowed myself to cry when I needed to cry. I sought refuge from the Lord when I felt lonely or afraid. I took care of her... this little girl hiding inside me... this little girl who never got to be a little girl. I took care of me. Slowly, I began realizing I am no longer this little girl anymore. This "little girl" who felt so inadequate and incapable of doing anything began feeling empowered bit by bit. 

It was this Christmas that I realized just how much this little girl has grown. For the first time in my life I realized I have become a woman. I once had great expectations during the Christmas season. Expectations for grand presents in many numbers. Expectations that it should be about me. I have no idea why I had this expectation... other than it was that little girl who used to be within me longing for honor and love through the magic of Christmas. 

This year, however, my presents were few and my heart was full. The presents I received were wonderful and I am so very grateful for them! However, what brought me the most joy this Christmas? Not the presents. 

• It was doing Acts of Kindness with my children throughout the Christmas season.
• It was doing daily advents together as we counted down the days to celebrate Christmas.
• We made birthday cupcakes for Jesus
• We had an amazing Christmas Eve Service at our church. They hadn't had a CES in 8 years. We brought to them the idea of a candlelight service and expected only a handful of people. We were surprised and giddy with joy when we had 25 people come! That was a beautiful sight and music to our ears as we sang hymns of praise to the newborn King!
• We enjoyed a relaxing pajama day for Christmas day without any fear of retribution for doing what we wanted & needed for our family time. (We used to be chastised for asking for what we wanted within our extended family unit and made to feel bad for asking that Christmas Day be only our little family.)

When Christmas is over I have been known to cry in the past. Cry that the "magic" is over. I would lament over putting away the decorations so much so that my husband would always put away the beautiful lights and tree.  However, that wasn't the case this year! Everything was over and I was finished. We waited a few days and then put away all of our decorations & magical pieces together as a family. 

The list could go on for days... but I cherished each moment of my womanhood this Christmas season. I realized this year just how much the Lord has grown me, changed me, renewed me, & strengthened me. How grateful I am for this new redemption!! How great is our God!! 

I pray that you will let Jesus grow you into the woman He has for you to be! He is such a God of redemption and He longs to redeem you from the hardships you face and the insurmountable trials you may be facing.

Devine Acts of Kindness

It's Christmas-time! It truly is my family's favorite time of year!! We begin decorating after Halloween, so that we can enjoy the lights & colors of the season for as long as possible! My husband and I love buying gifts for our children that we know they will love & have wanted. However, we don't do an extravagant Christmas and we certainly don't focus on gifts.

Our focus on Christmas is all about Jesus! Jesus gave the ultimate gift when He left a face-to-face communion with the Father to be born a lowly baby here on this earth. Not because He wanted to or chose to, but out of obedience to God and out of ultimate, sacrificing love for us! I am *so* thankful for His ultimate gift for us.

So, at Christmas we like our Children to focus on acts of kindness! We want to bless others by using our gifts/talents!!

Many people do this in the month of December and it can get expensive. Buying & donating gifts to shelters, safe homes, and other places that minister to people around the world. There is a real need for these places and donating gifts/money is definitely helpful! However, what do you do when you don't have the extra money to donate hundreds of dollars? You get creative with your blessings!

We packed shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child to give gifts to other children around the world. This one can be as pricey as you want. Our church partners together and our small congregation packed almost 100 boxes together! This was truly a blessing!!

Our children are old enough that they love to make cards! So we sent cards to hospitalized children. Children who are hospitalized for extended stays! You can do this too!!

Just mail your card(s) to:

Cards for Hospitalized Kids

7290 W Devon Ave

Chicago, IL 60631

The great thing about this Act of Kindness is that they love receiving cards year around, so this is something we can do atleast once a month!

We rung the bell at Big Lots for the Salvation Army! It's been a warm December, but it wasn't this day. It was 27 degrees outside and the wind was blowing! Our children were such troopers and we were so proud of their willing hearts!

We wrote a Thank You note for our mailman and bought some cookies at the store for just a couple of dollars. We put it in our mailbox with a water bottle and put the flag up for him to get one evening!  We also intend to do this for our garbage men! Let's face it... delivering mail & picking up garbage are pretty thankless jobs... so we were extra excited to bless these professions!

**We were going to go even cheaper and do homemade cookies, but my concern was that with all the cruelties in this world people have to be so careful. Especially government funded employees. I was concerned that if we made them homemade cookies they may have been warned not to eat them. I don't know?! But I wanted to be safer than sorry, so we got the store-bought kind.** 

We had a gift card that we didn't use all of, so we handed the remaining balance of the card over to the person behind us and she was *thrilled*!

We make sure to be kind to everyone we meet and say thank you for all their hard work. Retail & service employees have the hardest jobs dealing with the public, and I can tell you from personal experience that a kind customer makes for a better day.

We have other things in mind for this Christmas season... goodies to make and hand out to Sunday School teachers & our neighbors. Popcorn to be taped onto a Redbox machine, and more blessings to be shared. 

I just want to share a few of our experiences to help others' understand that an Act of Kindness doesn't *have* to be every day and it doesn't have to cost $30/day. It can be simple and heartfelt... and it can mean just as much to the receiver. 

How will you choose to be a blessing today?

From our family to yours... Merry Christmas!!