Devine Acts of Kindness

It's Christmas-time! It truly is my family's favorite time of year!! We begin decorating after Halloween, so that we can enjoy the lights & colors of the season for as long as possible! My husband and I love buying gifts for our children that we know they will love & have wanted. However, we don't do an extravagant Christmas and we certainly don't focus on gifts.

Our focus on Christmas is all about Jesus! Jesus gave the ultimate gift when He left a face-to-face communion with the Father to be born a lowly baby here on this earth. Not because He wanted to or chose to, but out of obedience to God and out of ultimate, sacrificing love for us! I am *so* thankful for His ultimate gift for us.

So, at Christmas we like our Children to focus on acts of kindness! We want to bless others by using our gifts/talents!!

Many people do this in the month of December and it can get expensive. Buying & donating gifts to shelters, safe homes, and other places that minister to people around the world. There is a real need for these places and donating gifts/money is definitely helpful! However, what do you do when you don't have the extra money to donate hundreds of dollars? You get creative with your blessings!

We packed shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child to give gifts to other children around the world. This one can be as pricey as you want. Our church partners together and our small congregation packed almost 100 boxes together! This was truly a blessing!!

Our children are old enough that they love to make cards! So we sent cards to hospitalized children. Children who are hospitalized for extended stays! You can do this too!!

Just mail your card(s) to:

Cards for Hospitalized Kids

7290 W Devon Ave

Chicago, IL 60631

The great thing about this Act of Kindness is that they love receiving cards year around, so this is something we can do atleast once a month!

We rung the bell at Big Lots for the Salvation Army! It's been a warm December, but it wasn't this day. It was 27 degrees outside and the wind was blowing! Our children were such troopers and we were so proud of their willing hearts!

We wrote a Thank You note for our mailman and bought some cookies at the store for just a couple of dollars. We put it in our mailbox with a water bottle and put the flag up for him to get one evening!  We also intend to do this for our garbage men! Let's face it... delivering mail & picking up garbage are pretty thankless jobs... so we were extra excited to bless these professions!

**We were going to go even cheaper and do homemade cookies, but my concern was that with all the cruelties in this world people have to be so careful. Especially government funded employees. I was concerned that if we made them homemade cookies they may have been warned not to eat them. I don't know?! But I wanted to be safer than sorry, so we got the store-bought kind.** 

We had a gift card that we didn't use all of, so we handed the remaining balance of the card over to the person behind us and she was *thrilled*!

We make sure to be kind to everyone we meet and say thank you for all their hard work. Retail & service employees have the hardest jobs dealing with the public, and I can tell you from personal experience that a kind customer makes for a better day.

We have other things in mind for this Christmas season... goodies to make and hand out to Sunday School teachers & our neighbors. Popcorn to be taped onto a Redbox machine, and more blessings to be shared. 

I just want to share a few of our experiences to help others' understand that an Act of Kindness doesn't *have* to be every day and it doesn't have to cost $30/day. It can be simple and heartfelt... and it can mean just as much to the receiver. 

How will you choose to be a blessing today?

From our family to yours... Merry Christmas!!

Like a New Kitchen

We have lived here in this house since April (2015) and I have loved everything about this house except the kitchen. I am someone who cooks often and loves to create recipes with our children. So, a small kitchen wasn't really what I wanted as we hunted for houses. In the end, I decided that the rest of the house, the price, etc was worth the small kitchen. What made it even smaller, however, was the dark, dark cabinets. I'm talking probably original to the house when it was built in the early 1970's. 

Ever since I moved in then I've had the inclination to paint them. I did lots of research over several months. Reading blogs, looking on Pinterest, talking to home improvement stores, etc. I waivered often about doing it. In the end, I had a hard time getting up the gumption to do it. I decided about a month ago that I would start this project and work on it a little at a time. It didn't have to get finished in 10 days and I was okay with that. I figured it would be a fun project to work on throughout the winter months. 

The truth is, once I got started then I just wanted to finish!! Honestly, at times I looked at my supportive husband and said, "I feel like this is a nightmare that won't end." The truth is... once you start, then you can't go back! I have pictures to show you the process. However, the redemption that came from this project was exhilarating. If this had been 6-8+ years ago, then no way would I have even attempted to attack this project!! No way would I even *think* about it. At that time in my life, I felt like I couldn't do anything right and I wasn't good enough at anything to be able to give due justice to such a large project.

I used to be faint of heart and a perpetual damsel in distress. I felt like I needed to be rescued at all times. I felt worthless and "good for nothing". However, since the Lord has changed my heart and shown me that I am His and I am a capable woman, then I love trying new things and doing new projects. 

I know it seems trivial, but this is truly a reflection of my redemption. This was a huge accomplishment for me and made me feel like the sky is the limit. I can do *anything* because God has equipped me to do great things.... both in this world and for His kingdom! Glory, Glory.... He is so good to me!

Okay, so for the big reveal!! Here are some before pictures.

This is the listing picture for our kitchen

This looks into our dining area. Due to the small size,
then we had cabinets added to the dining room wall

All doors have been removed and then
I needed to remove all things from the cabinets

Next, emptied cabinet boxes had to be sanded
I used an electric palm sander with 180 sandpaper
This was a *messy* job!

I set up an assembly line in my garage, so I could even work on rainy days
and at night. The cabinets and drawers were sanded, primed, and painted out here

 

Priming commences ~~ Excuse the mess. Isn't that what garages are for though?

Priming all cabinets

 And for those who say, this isn't a big job.... you can do it in a week!! Please know... it's a *BIG* job!!! Much bigger than I expected! Let me also make clear to you that for the first time living here in this home I was so happy to say, I love our small kitchen!! lol! 

The process was as follows. Clean all cabinets, drawers, and doors with cleaner, then sand the death out of each piece with 180 sandpaper. Next, you'd wipe or vacuum up all dust (there's alot!) Now clean all pieces with rubbing alcohol (water will only mess up the grain in your wood). Then you prime. Sand with 300 sandpaper. Prime again. Sand again. Paint. Sand. Paint again. I did the back of the cabinets first and then flipped over to do the front of the cabinets last. 

I began with Valspar Cabinet Enamel and that stuff is horrid!! DON'T BUY IT!!! It's expensive too. I called Valspar and they were *no* help. So I called Lowe's and they were so kind and replaced the can for me with a different can of paint. So I went with HGTV Sherwin Williams Showcase Paint. Medium Gloss Linen color.

I am loving the new cabinets though! I also replaced all of the hardware, hinges & cabinet pulls. It looks great!!

They look white, but in actuality have a hint of yellow/cream in them. 

 Project 2 will be replacing the backsplash! I will be learning to do that this weekend when a new friend helps me do it! I am most excited about that, because I got 3 boxes of glass tile on clearance for only $35!! 

I'll update when I have that finished!! 

I'm telling you, this was a hard project, but I am thankful I did it and can say that I truly did it! I am empowered and learning how much I love home improvement projects! I can't wait to learn more! God really is a redeeming God to take this shy, unworthy girl and has created in me a woman who loves to learn new things and feels as if I can tackle the world! 

Project 3 will be new countertops (that will be after we get our tax return)

Project 4 (probably 2-3 years from now) will be stainless steel appliances

Killer words

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

This is one of my favorite verses. One I pray often with our children as much as for myself. 

Many years ago, the words of my mouth used to be everything except pleasing to the Lord. Sarcasm dripped from my mouth like bitter molasses. Strong, slow, and purposeful. I was full of contention and complaint. You know the verse in the Bible that to live on the corner of a roof is better than to live inside a home with a contentious woman? That was me... I was that woman. It's shocking that my marriage survived the many years that antagonism plagued me. Complaint was readily upon my lips. 

Sarcasm is easily spoken to someone [you love] and then tauntingly pulled back by saying, "I was only joking!" As in.. it's your problem for taking offense to that, because it was just a joke! All the while... there's always truth in that sarcastic joke. I used to be so very sarcastic in cutting down my husband's personhood. Who he was and what he was about. Emasculating him in a major way and making him feel like he wasn't good enough. What husband wants to be with a wife like that? What husband could look forward to providing for and coming home to a woman like that?

It's not easy for me to admit these things openly. However, I share them with great confidence in the redeeming power of our God, because I am not that woman anymore! 

I loved finding fault in others and while much of this is something I was taught to do... I also have to take responsibility for my own actions. I was wrapped up in a world of gossip and found fault with everyone for the smallest of infractions. I had no grace for other people and was so bitter in my own life.  

I would love to tell you there was a turning point in my life that made me realize how wrong I was. Unfortunately, I cannot do that. It was only by the grace of God I started realizing that everything I had to say was negative. My husband pointed it out to me a few times too. I finally reached a point in my life that I decided to start looking for good! It took much prayer, but no matter how annoyed I was I chose not to voice it. I chose to keep it to myself and pray about it. I chose to start finding anything good I could think of from every annoyance that surrounded me.

Laundry keeps piling up --> Atleast we have clothes to wear
My husband snores --> Atleast I know he's breathing
The waitress was rude --> Maybe she just got some really bad news and is scared
That car is in my way --> Maybe the Lord is keeping me from a wreck up ahead
Our kids aren't listening to me --> Atleast I have children who are healthy & well

Do you see? Even though life annoyances are real and true... I can have understanding for those hardships while still finding a positive about them. I am not at all saying this is easy. Especially in the beginning. I *am* saying it's possible to do!!

Now, so many years later... I no longer complain about the small annoyances of life. I do not find myself looking for fault in others. Sarcasm no longer drips from my words and contention is far from my being. In Psalm 19:14 it says, "My rock and my Redeemer" because God can transplant us from the sin we are in and set us up on solid rock, a firm foundation! Redeemer is the Hebrew word goel and means kinsman-redeemer. A kinsman redeemer buys their relative out of slavery when the "slave" cannot pay for himself. He rescues him from total loss and ruin. King David (who wrote this Psalm) looked to God as his Kinsman-Redeemer. 

I also know that God redeemed me from the sins of my mouth and the meditations of my prideful heart. In doing so, it truly saved my marriage! It is only through knowing that God can redeem you of your sin that you can relinquish these sins unto Him. If you are not true to yourself about what sin you're in or you choose to ignore the fact that your words aren't pleasing to Him and the people surrounding you, then there's no hope for Him to redeem your words & thoughts. We must be real and open ourselves up to the fact that the words of our mouth are as deadly and as sinful as a loaded weapon. 

So what will you choose? Will you choose for your words and thoughts to be redeemed and therefore pleasing to the Lord or will you once again load your weapon and aim for the one who is closest in your path? Your child? Your spouse? Your coworker? 

Start looking for the beauty among the ashes and finding gratitude in the mundane...

Let the Lord be your Kinsman-Redeemer too! Let Him set you free from killer statements & thoughts!

Loving God with our Mind

I had the privilege of hearing Jen Wilkins speak at a Women's Leadership Conference just a few weeks ago. I also have had the privilege of reading her book, "Women of the Word" and have been enlightened by a new concept. Loving God with your mind!

I've been deep in the word since July of this year, and I must tell you... the more I read, the hungrier for God's Word I get!  I want to know more. I want to understand more. I want to gorge on His word and digest it deep within my soul! For me, someone who felt stupid for much of my life... this is *exciting* to me!!

I have a women's breakfast coming up in a couple of days for our church and felt really compelled to share this new concept with them...loving God with your mind! So here is what I wrote. Some of it from my own studies and some of it adapted from Jen Wilkin's book.

Did you know the word disciple means “learner”? As a disciple of Christ, you and I are called to learn, and learning requires effort.

Mark 12:30 and Luke 10:27 both command us to 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

The Bible is a book that boldly and clearly reveals who God is on every page. In Genesis it does this by placing God as the subject of creation. In Exodus, it places him in comparison to Pharaoh and the gods of Egypt. In the Psalms, David extols the Lord’s power and majesty. The prophets proclaim his wrath and justice. The Gospels & Epistles unfold his character in the person and work of Christ. The book of Revelation displays his dominion over all things. From beginning to end the Bible is a book about God.

We are so often mislead into thinking the Bible is really about us though. Asking it to teach us how to live and assure us that we are loved and forgiven. We are these things!! But the purpose of the Bible isn’t just about me or written solely to help me.

We must turn around our habit of asking “Who am I?” and we must ask, “What does this teach me about God?” We must acknowledge that this book is about God before we can ask it to teach us anything about ourselves. The bible was given to us so that we can learn who God is, so that we can receive more wisdom about the truths of God, and in turn… fall more in love with Him.

When we know something, then we love that something, don’t we? When I met Andy, then I knew I loved him, but truthfully I did not *really* know Andy. We met on the internet in July. We were engaged in October and got married in June. Being in 2 different states, We saw eachother less than 10 times before we got married although we talked by phone often. Did we really know eachother? Not at all! Although we thought we did!! Now that I know him… really know him.. 12 years later, then I love him so much more today than I *thought* I loved him 13 years ago.

I also love architecture and old buildings and anything to do with history. I love the dress of the 1800’s and history of what it was like to live in the early 1900’s. I relish anything historical. I love to watch period dramas and read historical fiction. The more I learn about the hard work it takes to create architectural pieces of art, then the more I appreciate it. The more I learn about the reason for the dress of days long ago or how they lived, then I fall in love with that era even more. The more I learn, the more I love it and appreciate it. The same is true with God.

A Yale PhD professor of cognitive psychology who specializes in pleasure research who studied how humans develop the ability to derive pleasure from people, experiences, and things. He has discovered through his research that pleasure doesn’t simply occur, it develops. And how it develops is a point worth noting: “People ask me, “’How do you get more pleasure out of life?’ and my answer is extremely academic: Study more.”

Attaching our intellect to our faith doesn’t come easily though. For many of us, the strength of our faith is gauged by how we’re feeling… about a song, about a sermon, about our quiet time. However, in Romans 12:2-3 says “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” In this verse, Paul states we can have renewal, but we have to renew our mind… not our heart. 

It's a wonderful thing when our hearts overflow with affection for the Lord, but emotion alone isn't enough. John Piper rightly says, "The apex of glorifying God is enjoying him with the heart. But this is an empty emotionalism where that joy is not awakened and sustained by true views of God for who he really is." The way we know God truly in our hearts is through the right use of our minds.

As we grow in wisdom of who God is and His character through studying His Word, we cannot help but grow into a much deeper love for Him. This further explains why Romans 12:2 says we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.

1 Chronicles 28:9 “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.

David asked Solomon to serve God with both his heart and mind. Some people are all heart and no mind in their service to God; others are all mind and no heart. Both of these are important in order to truly serve Him.

The crux of it is… Bible study that equips us doesn’t divorce our heart from studying. It puts the heart in the right place: informed by the mind.

Time of New Beginnings

We moved to Northwestern Kentucky at the beginning of January from East Tennessee. I had a thriving Pampered Chef business that I had built over the last 3 years. I loved my business, my customers, and the self-worth I felt in what the Lord had given me the wisdom to build.

Growing up in a home where I experienced gaslighting (click on gaslighting to get more information on what gaslighting is) on a consistent basis I felt like I was in a constant state of confusion. Anytime I questioned my mom (as a child or an adult), stood up for myself against accusations, shared my viewpoints, etc. then I was repeatedly told, "That's not what happened and you know it." or "It's because you're so sensitive." or "That's not true." So I was left trying to figure out if what I thought was true was really true. Could it be that I was wrong about what I thought was true? I felt a little crazy.. most of the time! I would spend *days* going over conversations in my mind and trying to sort out the details so I could understand what the "truth" was. It was mentally exhausting.

Due to my "constant state of confusion" I felt truly unintelligent. I didn't feel bright at all. So for me to have built a good business from the ground up made me feel clever! It made me feel like I was capable of great things! After my shows, customers would sit around a table, eat my delicious creations, and praise my accomplishments for a great, entertaining show. They relished the food I prepared for them. I was shocked! I didn't think I could be good at anything!!

So you see, when we moved away from my thriving business I mourned the loss of what I would no longer have. I had the possibility of re-starting my business, but every time I prayed about starting a Pampered Chef business here I just didn't have any sort of peace about it. I even had shows lined up and after much, much prayer I realized the Lord didn't want me to continue on with the business I loved. Despite the fact I didn't understand this call, I obeyed.


So now, fast forward from my resignation to now, exactly 4 months. The Lord has opened up so many doors for me to be in teaching positions here! Unfortunately, none of these are paid, but it's my prayer that I am helping women grow in their relationships with Jesus and that's worth so much more than a paycheck!  I am now teaching 11 Kindergarten & 1st grade students in our homeschool co-op! This is a brand new concept for me, but I'm having so much fun with these sweet kiddos! I have been teaching a bible study with Beth Moore for about 3 months now and the blessings of this bible study has nourished my dry & weary soul in a splendid way!! Lastly, the Lord just recently opened up the opportunity for me to start a women's Sunday School class on Sunday mornings at our church! Whew.. 3 classes! I would've laughed if you told me this a year ago! It takes much time and preparation, but I am reveling in it! I am passionate about supporting women in their journey of truth about Jesus! What a blessing and an honor as He has bestowed these classes upon me!

It's interesting that when we give up the things we love... when the Lord calls us to do so... then He brings us bigger blessings more than we could expect! I look back now and all I can think is, "Okay Lord! I get it now! There's no way I could run my business, homeschool 2 kids + a toddler, be a pastor's wife, and teach 3 classes!" The latter 3 keep me busy enough!! God is good and His faithfulness endures forever!!

Isaiah 52:1-3 

"Awake, awake, O Zion, 

clothe yourself with strength. 

Put on your garments of splendor...

Shake off your dust; 

rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem, 

Free yourself from the chains on your 

neck, 

O Captive Daughter of Zion. 

For this is what the Lord says: 

'You were sold for you nothing, 

and without money you will be 

redeemed.'" 

Hallelujah and AMEN!

Celebrating Deliverance

I have been pretty candid on my blog so far about having to walk away from mentally & emotionally abusive relationships and the fear that is still a stronghold (although it's thankfully dwindling) in my life. However, as I am wrapping up my bible study on the book of Esther with Beth Moore the Lord continues to reveal to me that He holds me in His hands. I am excited to tell you, Friend... He holds you too!!

Please allow me to share a few things I've learned over the last few days that are cultivating my continued healing.

Esther 9:19 tells us of the new appointed holiday that the Jews will annually celebrate. This is because they are free from the decree that was put on them by Haman to annihilate and destroy all of them. They decided to celebrate... they chose joy!! Beth Moore states, "Because Christ has overcome sin and the grave, any day can be a day of joy, but can you imagine the impact of becoming deliberate about it?"

Feast of Purim

So on this special day they give presents and special food to each other along with throwing feasts & banquets. In the passage, you'll see the word gift or present.Those words can mean gift of food or even something more than food. Let me dig deeper and tie this together for you with more scripture! Psalm 16:5-6 says "you make my 'lot' secure" and in Esther 3:7 the word "lot" is also used when Haman threw lots to see what day the Jews' slaughter would be held.
The word "lot" here is the SAME Hebrew word as gift! The 3 words favor, portions (aka presents), and lots are interlaced. Beth declares, "No matter what life - or Satan himself - hands us, the favor God has on His children causes that "lot" to tumble out on the table in such a way that, instead of destruction the child will discover that her portion is turned into destiny one trusting step at a time. When all is said and done, she will see that the portion God assigned her was good. Right. Rich. Full of purpose."

Psalm 16:5 ESV "The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot." This verse really spoke to me!

I have seen the goodness of my God! He has rescued me from my enemies. The day we can realize this... that God has the best plans for us when we follow Him, then we will have "a day of joy and feasting, a day for giving presents to eachother" (Esther 9:19, NIV)

Beth Moore states, "We glorify God when we celebrate our deliverance."

So I continue to share with you reflections of my redemption. As raw as it is,as painful as it's been, and as victorious as I stand. This blog is not about me. It's about my deliverance.... and that's about Jesus! So when I celebrate my deliverance by sharing my story with you (God called me to do so), then I am glorifying God! "God gave His one and only Son as His portion and we who receive Him have the joy of giving to others out of that lavish portion." - Beth

So, let me leave you with one last set of verses. Here is the original verse: Psalm 30:1-3,11-12 and here for you is my version and the account of my deliverance.

I will exalt You, O Lord, for You are my Redeemer and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to You for help and You rescued me.

O Lord, You brought me up from the grave; you spared me from mental abuse, the perfection I once sought, and the hopelessness I once felt.

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with righteousness, joy, kindness, gladness, hope, love, peace, and grace that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you praise forever!!

Better with Boundaries

For many years I have struggled with putting boundaries in place. Learning that it's okay to say no. Realizing that if I am unable to be apart of something or choose not to do it, then I am not in sin.

 I grew up in a home of high expectations. I was not allowed to have an opinion and I most certainly was not allowed to say no. However, my thoughts and attitudes were secretly expected to match those of my mother. This left me in a perpetual state of guessing her desires and trying to live up to them. That's a day in the life as a child of a narcissist. 

For many years I was in counseling. Learning who I was and who I'm not. Determining I'm not persistently in sin or bad for having my own thoughts & desires. Grasping this new idea of boundaries. Through counseling and reading books I realized that boundaries are a Christian thing to do. It's something God himself does. It is not sinful and it is not wrong and boundaries are actually a sign of being healthy!

I learned this concept about 5 years ago. Truly put it into practice 2 years ago. Fought for my life with it 1 year ago. Fought & won! It was a battle of boundaries to pull myself up from the mire I was sinking in and declare myself an adult Christian woman with a family who deserved to be treated respectfully & honorably. Psalm 69:14 "Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from those who hate me, from the deep waters." was my anthem... and God did that for me!

So yes, I was rescued! I fought the battle! I won the war! God and me!! Truthfully though, I still wrestle with my old demons of feeling "bad" and "unworthy" and "unrighteous" for setting boundaries. Even though over and over the Lord has revealed to me that I am not in sin. In fact, I am choosing to follow Him instead of the idols of pleasing people.

THEN!! This week in Esther the Lord revealed something big to me!! Esther set a HUGE boundary! Haman had set a date to kill her and all her people. She had gone before the King twice! The second time she revealed to him what Haman was planning... annihilation of her people. The King stormed out and Haman stayed behind with Esther to plead for his life. Harem protocol in those days was that no man should be alone with one of the King's women and even moreso, not within 7 feet! Haman, however, *fell on the couch* where Esther was laying. He really felt he had nothing more to lose! 

So let me pause for a moment. I've set boundaries and they weren't accepted well... at all. Later, after boundaries were kept in place, then I was given apologies. Half-hearted apologies. Not sincere ones. Just shame-inducing excuses to try and get me back into a place where I used to be.. under the influence of mental abuse. I didn't accept these apologies. Although, in my heart I had forgiven these boundary-less and merciless people who wreaked havoc in my life. I had taken them to the cross of Jesus and left them there for Him to heal and help. Because, honestly, I no longer could.

Now, returning to Esther. Beth Moore says, "I don't think she could take the chance that he or the situation would change. Furthermore, does begging for one's life equal repentance? Is anything more natural or instinctive than pleading for your own skin when it's in jeopardy?" I hear that! I recognize that sort of apology! It isn't for the sake of truly seeking repentance... it's purely for the advantage of someone else's reputation.

"So long as an enemy as powerful and shrewd as Haman lived he was a threat to Esther, Mordecai, and the Jewish community. To say here that Esther was merciless and unfeeling is to misinterpret the entire situation. Thus, while her heart might have prompted her to be merciful, logic and prudence restrained her." - Carey, Moore, The Anchor Bible Commentary.

So the truth is, Friends, boundaries are important. For all of us, even Queens of Persia! They aren't sinful or ungodly. They are necessary. Beth Moore states that if someone goes out of their way to harm someone else they're digging a pit. Psalm 7:15-16 "Whoever digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit they have made.The trouble they cause recoils on them;  their violence comes down on their own heads." Haman dug his pit. "Knowingly or not, Haman had placed himself in Satan's hands only to be betrayed by him. It happens every time." - Beth Moore. 

My family dug their pit by choosing to ignore me beseeching them for grace and extensions of mercy. For years, I asked them to listen to me instead of ignore me. To talk respectfully to my husband and me instead of calling me names or disparage my man. For years, I begged and cried. I demanded and hoped. I wrote letters and I waited. The pit was dug. As Beth says, "In effect Christ says, 'I'm already great enough for both of us,' relieving the willing of their woeful burden. 'Just follow Me.'" So I chose to lay down the life of mental abuse, and walk away.. as hard as that was.. to the life that Jesus had intended for me. I laid down my life and followed Jesus! 

So, I share this all with you to say that once again the Lord redeemed me this week from the shackles of fear. Fear that I am not a good person. Fear that I am sinful for setting boundaries. Fear that I am "bad". He continues to redeem me and set me free. He continues to rescue me and show me that I am His! 

I can identify with Paul in the Bible who says "But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me--and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace." 1 Corinthians 15:10